With regret 

It is with regret that I am taking some time away from WordPress. I do wish to emphasise how much I have enjoyed blogging on here and the multitude of characters that I have met. You are all gems of the highest quality. However, I need some time to think things over. I will continue to operate on twitter but please rest assured that it is not because I have little hands or that I have a little Donald Trump inside of me. There are no pee pee parties here. 

If you would like to stay in touch, please feel free to add me on Twitter. My account is @EntertainDavid. I would love to see you all there (especially the hot ones – I jest). Much love to everyone and see you soon. 

Big D

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Awkward. Most actors don’t have this short a sex scene. 

I had decided at the start that I was going to reduce the level of smut in my blog because I was a bit concerned with some of the attention I was getting. There are definitely times when I find rude stuff funny but I still don’t want to end up making friends with some insane nymphomaniac. No offense nymphos – I’m sure there are people out there that love you. 

That being said, today, I started watching The Night Manager which stars Hollywood and British heartthrob Tom Hiddleston and House himself Hugh Laurie. And I went into it with an open mind even though I didn’t really know what to expect besides hearing that “Hiddleston was so good that should be the next Bond”. But yeah, I know all the fan girls out there literally want him in anything so I didn’t take that much notice. 

Anyway, watching part of it, my thoughts are that the show started off slow but did pick up somewhat over time. However, what stood out for me the most was that Hiddleston had quite a few sex scenes – much more than I am used to seeing anyway. And I get why girls like him. He’s well groomed, tall, and has the type of accent that makes all the cats crave but that still doesn’t make seeing him in sex scenes seem normal. And while I should stress I haven’t seen it all yet, there was one seen that struck me as being the quite..short.  See below. 

In addition to making an ass of himself, I was surprised to see Hiddleston “finish up” in such a quick time. And sure, while many would argue that this gives a sense of realism, others might laugh at the time it took (less than a minute). Personally, I didn’t see the point of this scene and I don’t really see it as sexy or with point. I guess all it really did was get young women to tune in to see their favourite British eye candy’s butt. 

That’s all from me. 

Funny Parody Songs (YouTube hits)

So today, I thought I would share with you 5 of the silliest YouTube parody songs that have gained epic followings over the years. 

Let’s start with 

5. The Bob and Tom Show – Camel Toe


4. Weird Al Yankovic – White and Nerdy


3. Bart Baker – Dark Horse Parody


2. Tim Hawkins – The Wife Song


1. Weird Al Yankovic – Amish Paradise


What are your favourites?

What a douchebag!

Have you ever wondered why two people are together? You know, you are there looking on wondering what they could possibly see in the other?

Bring in Mr Jerk or as the Mirror calls him…Derek Deso. 


Mr Deso recently performed what could only be described as one of the cruelest pranks on his partner that I have seen in a LONG time. This guy decides that it would be funny for him to sneak into his girlfriend’s place and, you know, drop a couple of large pythons on her while she is FAST ASLEEP. 


YouTube user Derek Deso orchestrated the stunt with friends who caught the nasty surprise on camera.

They begin slither over her legs but she takes a little while to wake up.

“Baby, don’t move. There’s two ginormous snakes on your butt!” Derek says.

She begins screaming and ordering them to remove the snakes, unable to move as they slither over her body. Indeed she was EXTREMELY distressed. Hell, she continues to scream after the creatures have been peeled from her body.

Towards the end, she appears out of breath as Deso tries to come over and talk to her – but she firmly rejects him.  If he wasn’t dumped, I’d be amazed. But seriously, this shows just what exactly this YouTube generation has become. And I’m not saying that it’s all bad. I love catching up on America’s events via the media provider as well as catching clips of shows such as The Daily Show with Trevor Noah and the Colbert Report. But YouTube provides people with the opportunity to make a name for themselves by any means necessary and this includes ridiculous pranks like this one. Perhaps the people filming these pranks aren’t necessarily completely cruel deep down but everyone is after making an easy buck and they will happily exploit their friends, family and even strangers to do so. Why else would you get crazes like the killer clown craze that has swept the globe.  It’s quite sad really. I feel for this poor girl. As someone who isn’t a lover of snakes, this would be my idea of hell. And for someone who supposedly loves you to do what he did was kind of unforgivable. At least I think so. What do you think?

Arrogance (Poem)

I’m just so sexy 

You know it’s true. 

I may be fat 

And hairy too

But I don’t care

That’s who I am 

I’m not a fraud 

But what a man. 

I’ve got the brains 

A boffin prince

I am unique

The last in print. 

Just call me Barry,

Like Manilow 

Now be my Mandy 

Third base we’ll go

So now I’ll end 

This glorious piece

I know your love

Will never cease. 

 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

And Bahahahahahaha. 

Inspired by the theme song of Tyler Breeze. 

Biggest shock of the day

Okay so I am going to share with you one of my daily rituals. Being English (as well as being located in England) I am unable to watch such great shows such as The Colbert Report, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah or Late Night with Seth Meyers LIVE. I love these shows because they are witty, topical and also focus on important daily issues. It’s not something we get in abundance in the UK; I’m not sure why but I think the British can no longer do political satire or comedy shows about current affairs – maybe it’s too depressing?


But anyway, every day when I get up, one of the first things I do is go onto YouTube and search for clips from the previous nights shows. It’s always great viewing watching what’s going on in the United States, especially considering it is about to inaugurate potentially the most divisive and controversial president in sometime. Given that George W Bush managed to somehow win the US election in 2000 in the way that he did and yet this bloke is more controversial is amazingly  telling. 

For those who have followed the US Election and everything since, they will be familiar with Kellyanne Conway, who is Mr Trump’s campaign manager and all around guru. She fits the bill for Trump in so many ways. She’s blonde. She’s female. And she’s a shrewd. And regardless of what you think about the Donald, you have to say that Conway has done an amazing job at spinning the news of a man that admitted to sexually assaulting women and who refuses to release his tax returns and still somehow makes President. A lesser campaign manager could have crumbled. 

This morning, I was rather intrigued to find that the previous night, Ms Conway had appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers, who is and has been firmly in the democratic corner throughout the election and post-election days. And considering the media has been rife with the rumours of Trump’s relationship with the Russians, surely she would not want to be doing that show at that particular time. But she did. Though that isn’t the reason I was shocked…


The reason I was shocked is because Kellyanne Conway told Seth Meyers that she was in her forties. What? REALLY? I really don’t mean to be cruel when I say this but she doesn’t look like a woman in her 40s. I did a quick search online and found out that she was 49 which blows my mind when you think that Megyn Kelly is 46! And all I could think was – is that what working for Donald Trump does to you? If so, you have to feel sorry for the next batch of interns working in the White House. They’ll go in at 21 and come out looking 40. Then again, Trump would argue that that isn’t the worst thing to happen to an intern in the Oval Office. 

The interview itself is quite interesting, mainly because Seth Meyers does his best to prevent Conway from detouring with every question, which she is the master of. She also seems somewhat more flirty than usual. 

Check it out here. 

Giving up the ghost

The following article is interesting, not only because it is well written and for that matter, well written by a pretty girl but it just underlines what it is that I hate about online dating. Before I tried, I was a hopeful sceptic but after many a night, I lost the hope. The thing is that you can never be completely sure of someone’s motivations. And it is very difficult to tell if someone is being genuine over phone call or text. You can meet someone and things seem great and the next moment they disappear. I had some ridiculous situations. So obviously when I hear stories I feel unsurprised. I even told my friend as much the other day who was excitedly telling me about this Italian man she met on one. He can’t meet her yet. He is currently in Italy and he calls himself an entrepreneur who is starting his own business. In what? Your guess is as good as mine. He also told her he wants to take her dancing as a first date. Is it me or is that too good to be true? Too suave? And that’s it. You never know with people these days and with the net.

Give me an old fashioned Hollywood romance any day!

Anna dates

After past experiences with online dating (one of which resulted in a short lived disaster of a relationship), 12 months ago I decided to give it up. Love would have to come to me, to seek me out and fall romantically and theatrically into my arms. That was the plan.

scarf12 months on, I re-download Tinder and Bumble.

A few idle swipes and attempts at riveting virtual conversation later and I find my self heading out on a date. A date with a man. I am nervous and out of practice, but how out of practice can you actually be at attempting to ‘be yourself’ for a couple of hours. He lives outside of London and so we decide to meet outside of Waterloo station and walk in the drizzle to Southbank for drinks.

Initial impressions are great and conversation is interesting, funny and flows well. Hoorah! We both seemingly…

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What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her

I had a flashback today to my university years and a conversation that I had with one of my housemates at the time. I don’t remember the exact time of the year but the days were definitely getting shorter. It was a pretty eventful time really. We were preparing for examinations (Three of us were anyway) and there was a lot of “personal turmoil” going on. I was becoming more and more of a recluse at the time, a knock on effect from the unhappiness I was experiencing as a girl who I very much cared for had began getting serious with another man. I suppose it didn’t help that I and another housemate were both very single and for a very long time while our two other housemates were in relationships. One of them, a very nice guy was spending a lot of time with his girlfriend (now wife) while the other was seeing a girl himself. This guy – he was always a bit strange. He liked to think of himself as quite edgy and cool; he listened to rock music and liked to wear lots of leather and latex. A poser basically. But anyway. He was dating this girl called Fiona (not her real name) who from all accounts was a really nice girl. 

Apparently, he had made his mind up that she was the girl he wanted and he relentlessly pursued her till she gave in. They also had a threesome on my friends mattress with some other random girl (it was early in their relationship and he, well, he lifted my friend’s mattress out of his bedroom, took it into the lounge and did it there – why they couldn’t use his own bed I will never know..). It was a strange deal though. As I understand it, she was quite impressionable and he had convinced her to do this threesome deal but afterwards should had reservations he wanted something serious which he told her he did so the officially became exclusive. 

So they were dating. And after the end of the first semester, we all went back home to our families. Apparently over the holidays, Mr Poser had put an advert out over the internet that he was looking for models and had even visited them at their homes. I thought it was suspect at the time but as I was not around – I gave him the benefit of the doubt. After the holidays, we get back and go back to our regular studies. One night, one of my other housemates and I come back to our house and no one seems to be home. So we head upstairs and unpack and just chill following the long day. Suddenly Poser’s door opens and out he comes with his shirt off and a woman we haven’t seen before. She says hello and seems okay but leaves quite quickly and he comes upstairs to say hey. 


He tells us her name was “Elmo”.  I’m not joking. Elmo. He tells all about how he met her at his college and how she seems really cool. Apparently she has a boyfriend but he happily shared with us that he had sex with her. 
“Yeah, I can’t see it becoming anything” he exclaimed. “She’s fun but she’s got a really crap taste in music. Her sister is quite hot though”. Intrigued, I apologise saying that I hadn’t realised that he had broken up with Fiona. He hadn’t. He said that it is what it is and that he wasn’t going to say no when the opportunity came about. We had a long chat (all three of us, including my other housemate) about the situation. While we both disagreed, he argued that the issue with cheating has nothing to do with morality. “Sex  is sex” he would say. And it didn’t have to be coupled with any feeling. He believed (and on all accounts still believes) that cheating is only bad if it hurts somebodies feelings. And as he and the girl he just slept with will never tell Fiona, she would never get hurt. So it’s fine. After all, in his mind, he would still be the same considerate and doting boyfriend. They will still do stuff together. He will still be there for her. He just does that in addition to sleeping with other people. 

As someone who values fidelity, I struggled with this logic. I asked him if he would be okay if the roles were reversed. How would HE feel if FIONA was sleeping with other guys all the time while she was telling him she loved him. He said he’d be fine with it himself. And anyway, if he didn’t know about it, and it didn’t affect their relationship, so what? I couldn’t help but find flaws in his argument. 

Now, I have always been quite a dedicated/loyal sort of guy. I had my first real little crush when I was 9/10 and then another small crush at 10/11 before really liking someone aged 11/12. This girl I really liked and for the entire time I liked her, I couldn’t look at another girl. In fact, when I was 13, there was a girl in my class who had a crush on me and she got her friend to ask me out. I gallantly replied “I’m sorry but I’m in love with someone else”. I carried on having this crush well until I was 16 where I decided that I should try broadening my horizons and proceeded to fancy a lot of people each day. I think at that point I just wanted a girlfriend. Then when I was 18 and went to uni, I fell in love and that time, I was really messed up. I literally couldn’t look at another woman for years and when I tried, the memory of her came back, even despite friends trying to set me up. So yeah, I’ve always found it hard to be invested in someone and look at someone else. I guess part of that is that my parents have been happily married for years and I have always strived to have the same. He on the other hand, had his parents break up when he was young though his Dad married again and had a settled family so I don’t know if they had anything to do with it. For me, it has always been straightforward though. If you love someone, you do everything you can to make them happy AND you don’t do anything that can hurt them. And whether or whether not she knows about it, if your actions could or maybe I should say would hurt them, then it’s not right. Being with other people is not being devoted. Perhaps that’s why marriages fail so often because people don’t know what they are getting into?

Regardless, if you are not devoted to someone, you shouldn’t be married to them. Which is why to this day I am shocked they ended up getting married. I know he cheated on her countless times and I know she has no idea. Funnily enough, given that he knew I struggled with my conscience, he did his best to limit her and I getting to know one another until we finished uni and then we’d talk on what was the old MSN messenger. And I then did get to know her. Which then made it all the harder knowing what he was getting up to when he asked me to be his best man. He said that he really wanted me to do the honour. When he asked, I thought about it but I eventually declined. I never told him directly why but there could have been no way that I could have ever supported the wedding. Not long after I declined his offer, I began to distance myself from him and not long after, I stopped speaking with him all together. 


As I understand it, they are still together now. So perhaps he was right. But regardless, I will never be that person.

Shock and Awww

The following article was really well put together and highlighted what is and/or what isn’t shocking these days. It really puts forward some really good points.

I always try to think the best of people but a lot of what happens never really truly shocks me, especially since what happened at 9/11. But as I have grown up, I’ve seen and heard of many things that perhaps at the time may surprise you but as you become worldly, they tend to stop surprising you. I’m not sure if that is sad or just the way of the world. Perhaps it’s just over exposure to the world.

Check out this great article. I hope you enjoy.

yadadarcyyada

1ashock2

“Somewhere,
something
incredible
is waiting
to be known.”
~Carl Sagan

People use the word ‘shock’ a lot. The news keeps telling us how shocked we should be. Politicians are always shocked. Most things they use the word shock for, are not, in fact, shocking.

1ashock23

Shockingly, we’re still cavepeople. We just happen to be living in a modern world. The modern trend is toward being positive, but there is a reason humans tend to be negative. It kept us alive. It was important to caution your family, friends, even strangers about: the wolves in the forest, the cliff behind the bush, the saber tooth tiger about to jump on their head, the rabid bats in the cave, the poison berries, and so on. We spoke of, then later, wrote about negative things not always to dwell on them, but to often to help others, protect others. And sometimes, other times, it’s…

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Shark Week: Jaws 2

Hey all!

I was going to write another movie review when I saw this really great review already written by this fantastic blogger. If you get a moment, you should definitely check out their work.

Jaws 2 being the swift follow up from the masterpiece that is Jaws was always going to garner attention and you can be sure that the reviewers of this flick probably hand their red felt pens at the ready from the moment the opening credits came in.

I do concur with this blogger that Jaws 2 doesn’t live up to the original but then again, it would ALWAYS have been difficult. The original tapped into something that just struck a nerve with the viewing public and did something unique for the time. It also had a fantastic cast and a soundtrack so utterly fitting that it stuck in people’s minds. Of course, there were many similarities between the second and the original but it had all been done before so the novelty aspect was no more. To me though, that didn’t make the film a bad movie.

Interestingly, the film centred somewhat on Brady’s kids but the movie refrained from going down the smutty route that so many current Shark movies do. The movie does have a number of tense moments which are great if not a little unbelievable at times…helicopter anyone? Brody is also a very likeable character as are some of the kids although I kinda wanted the shark to get one girl who looked Carrie-esque every time she screamed.

Overall I would give Jaws 9.5/10 but Jaws 2…maybe as much as a 7. It certainly is a lot better than Jaws 3 and 4. Happy reading!

Late to the Theater

October is Horror Movie month, where we let down our hair and celebrate all things macabre and scary! Not that we don’t during the rest of the year, but still… HORROR MOVIES! People who don’t like horror are encouraged to check back November 1st for less bloody and/or disturbing films. For everyone else, let’s put on our galoshes and WADE INTO THE MIRE!

Hello and welcome to Shark Week here at Late to the Theater! This week’s selections are inspired by a dear friend who used to refer to her special lady time as ‘Shark Week.’ We shared many a laugh over that clever nomenclature over the last year or so. Three weeks ago she underwent a hysterectomy and will never again experience a Shark Week, so this week’s entries are dedicated to her! Let’s put on our floaties, paddle out just a little too far, make a ruckus in the…

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