Who Am I? (Poem)

You’re voluptuous curves, they drive me wild,
A sexy mannequin you are;
And though my tan is far from mild
My tictacs they are never far;

You say it’s groping – but i’m just sharing
my tiny hands on your behind;
I just like those clothes you’re wearing
The type of woman hard to find

I can do what I want; i’m rich,
My kisses you must take
And that Rosie O’Donnell. what a bitch!
So ugly! Give ME a break.

And don’t for get about the Mexicans
Bad hombres bringing drugs
It’s a good thing that i’m better than them;
My wall will keep out them thugs.

Electric Dreams (1984) – Movie Review

Way before Spike Jonze’s “Her” came a movie called “Electric Dreams”. Actually, this was way before people freely explored the internet and before people thought that computers were cool. 

Electric Dreams is a 1984 American-British science fiction romantic comedy-drama film set in San Francisco, California, that depicts a love triangle between a man, a woman and a computer. It stars Lenny Von Dohlen (Twin Peaks), Virginia Madsen (Sideways and Candyman), Maxwell Caulfield (Grease 2), and the voice of Bud Cort (Braindead) and was directed by Steve Barron, who also directed Mike Bassett – England Manager. It also has the honour of being the first film released by the Virgin Films production company. It’s designed in your typical cheesy 80s fashion but don’t let that fool you. This film is all kinds of funky. 

Miles Harding is an architect who envisions a brick shaped like a jigsaw puzzle piece that could enable buildings to withstand earthquakes. Seeking a way to get organized, he buys a personal computer to help him develop his ideas. Although he is initially unsure that he will even be able to correctly operate the computer, he does what every good technology geek does and buys numerous extra gadgets that were not necessary for his work, such as switches to control household appliances like the blender, a speech synthesizer, and a microphone. When Miles attempts to download the entire database from a mainframe computer at work, his computer begins to overheat. In a state of panic, Miles uses a nearby bottle of champagne to douse the overheating machine, which then becomes sentient.

If a sentient computer wasn’t enough to set your appetite, as mentioned earlier on, a love triangle soon ensues between Miles, his computer (who later identifies himself as “Edgar”), and Miles’ neighbor, an attractive cellist named Madeline. That’s right! 

Obviously all hell breaks loose and the movie comes to one hell of a climax. 

The movie scores a 6.5 from IMDB which is possibly a little bit unfair but don’t let that put you off. It actually is a pretty cool film. I mean,  look at this way. This was way before computers had gained such a big foothold in every day life. The idea of having a computer that could control your home with a few clicks was something of crazy science fiction times yet look where we are today with things like Apple’s HomeKit. The idea that people could converse or ask computers question too seemed the stuff of fantasy yet today we have Siri or Cortana. I’m not saying that your latest phone or Xbox is going to get the hots for your next door neighbor. Personally, I’d be pissed if mine did because I really don’t need anymore competition as I’m already struggling but I still think it’s quite funky to see people’s ideas of computing and how far we have come in the 32 years since. 

The film also boasts a pretty kick arse soundtrack which no doubt was influenced by Richard Branson’s influence (He is the owner of Virgin).  The soundtrack features music from prominent popular musicians of the time, being among the movies of this generation that actively explored the commercial link between a movie and its soundtrack. 

The main song of the movie was called “Together in Electric Dreams”. If you like 80s music, you really should check it out (It’s by Philip Oakey and Giorgio Moroder). Here it is!

Remember. We’ll always be together. However far it seems! We’ll always be together. Together in Electric Dreams. 

Do you ever find…

Whenever I start writing something here, I am always writing off the top of my head. More often than not, very little planning goes into it. I find it funny reading stuff back because I think it gives quite an interesting insight into how ideas form in my head. I know when I’m writing, I want to sound smart so I add all these pointless words in here and there when really it would probably make better reading by just being straightforward. It’s definitely not very “authory” of me. I should plan!

I think one of the big problems of constructing sentences when you are basically writing what you think is that you are often not sure how the sentence is going to end when you are putting it down in front of you. Obviously, if you proof it as you go along, you can change it but damn it, when I write, I write like I’m a German speaking English more than an Oxforf Professor. And I’m not even German!

How do you write your blogs? Do you plan out stories and posts? Do you write them in word before you post them? Let me know how you roll!

This is why elephants are awesome. 

This elephant is more concerned for the environment than most people. Says it all!

Me D and OCD

On planet earth, a lot of humans are quite frankly litterbugs. You’ll see full blown Hollywood movies where you see people tossing stuff into the sea or blowing things up just for special effect. And at times, people can generally just really abuse the planet. Like is it really necessary for someone to toss an empty can of coke out of the window on a motorway or highway rather than wait for their next stop? If you even need to debate this then you are mad.

Bring in this amazing elephant. Not only is he or she absolutely beautiful and majestic but it is also apparently ecologically more conscious than most humans. Check it out.

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Dealings (Poem)

The foggiest minds of madmen are;

Quite foggy, say they fog too far;

When customers come looking for help;

You humiliate them; their face you skelp. 

I only wanted you to fix 

What was not my fault; a system error

But now you lock me out with tricks 

With threat of punishment and terror

And I do understand the system 

But it is you who are resistant;

Because I cannot figure out why not;

There’s nothing that you can do to stop

this ridiculous charade you play with me

So please just stop this mockery 

I only wanted you to fix 

What was not my fault; a system error

But now you lock me out with tricks 

With threat of punishment and terror

Wow. You are one tool Mr Mourinho

The past seven days have been a bit of a rollercoaster emotionally for the average Chelsea FC fan. In fact, you could say the past 12 months have. Last Sunday, at Stamford Bridge, was the return of Jose Mourinho some ten months after being sacked by the chairman Roman Abramovich. Mourinho is now the manager of one of our rivals, Manchester United and it was a bitter pill to swallow. But given the history we had with him, we wanted to try and keep our emotions in check and try to welcome him back to the Bridge with the respect he deserved. After all, he won the Premier League for us three times and we have always been grateful for that. 

Anyway, so he returned on Sunday. And prior to the match, he did a lot of interviews with the press saying things like “I was sacked, I didn’t walk out” and “It’s just another game for me”. I tried to ignore the build up. It was hard. Mourinho to me has always had a special place in my heart as he wrote a letter to me after my Mum wrote to him explaining that I was going through a hard time and that some kind words from him would go a long way. When I got that letter, I was made up. Seriously I was grinning from ear to ear and stuck that letter above my bed so I could remind myself that Jose Mourinho was wishing me luck. And when he left the club first time around, I was heartbroken. I was angry with Abramovich, the players. Everything! And then, three years ago he came back. Man, I was so happy.  And now, we are now here and he’s at another club, our rival and he’s coming back into town. 

Like I said, I tried to avoid the build up. I didn’t want to see interviews. I wanted it to be over as painlessly as possible. I didn’t want Chelsea to lose to Manchester United of course but it has always been really hard to not support Mourinho too. Chelsea went onto win 4-0 in a very one sided match. 

For Chelsea, it was a great result. Obviously not for him and after the match, he was very critical of our new manager Antonio Conte as he bemoaned the fact that he over celebrated the goals. The fans did sing his name though and we did give him applause when he turned up. So it was a blow to us fans when he said that the response of the Chelsea fans to him didn’t affect him and that he felt nothing. And that hurt a bit because we always backed him, even when he wasn’t doing well. 

The real hammer blow came three days later this evening. Mourinho’s United had a match against their city rivals, Manchester City. United won the match 1-0. After the match, Mourinho apologised to the fans for the result. But what happened in his post match interview was unexpected. 

Mourinho said 

“And obviously when I am in this club, my heart belongs to the fans and I felt especially for them.

The reality is I never had people like these ones before.”

“We lost 4-0 and they were supportive. Today, the stadium was full.

Not full of people, full of real support and it looks like the love they have for the club is bigger than bad results, bigger than three bad seasons.”

So is he saying that our stadium was just full of people and not real support? It sounds like that. And wow that sucks. You know, Chelsea fans in almost their entirely supported Mourinho throughout his time at Chelsea. Almost unequivocally. Even when he lost, we would cheer his name. Even after he got sacked, we continued to cheer his name. The love of our fans for this man was unreal but after being at his new club for just a few months, he says that he has never known fans like this? Just wow!

I am wounded. And while I can understand why he might be pissed at the owner or even the players, that’s one thing. But to dump on the very fans who gave their everything to you, it totally stinks. 

I guess I was wrong about you. 

Top 10 WWE Entrance Themes of All Time

What are your favourite WWE entrance themes?

WrestlingMania 24/7

Today’s top 10 is the top 10 entrance themes of all time in the WWE. Disagree? Please share your favourites.

10. Vince McMahon – Jim Johnston’s “No Chance in Hell”.

Reason? This iconic entrance theme was synonymous with the Attitude era and indeed many a great feud, in particular with Mr McMahon’s feud with Stone Cold Steve Austin. Was one of the first theme songs that got me on my return to WWE viewing.

9. D’Lo Brown – Jim Johnston’s “The Real Deal”

To this day, I still like this tune. It’s everything the Attitude era was. Badass! It’s just a pity D’Lo’s career never really took off although the Droz incident likely played a role in that.

8. Degeneration X – Run DMC’s “The Kings”

Although it was only DX’s entrance theme for a short period of time, I still prefer it to the original and more popular…

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The #GloriousBomb

Check out this classic clip.

WrestlingMania 24/7

For those that haven’t seen it, the #GloriousBomb trend going across Twitter is one of the greatest WWE related Internet trends I’ve seen in many years. Johnny Gargano and Tomasso Ciampa are freaking hilarious. Which is your favourite Glorious Bomb?

Check below forthe entire compilation.

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Byron Saxton getting bullied on WWE Ride Along

Watching this episode really bothered me and I know not many people view my other wrestling related blog so I wanted to share my dissatisfaction with my kind readers

WrestlingMania 24/7


I don’t know how many of you have caught the most recent episode of WWE Ride Along available on the WWE Network but I found this week’s latest episode featuring Byron Saxton, Michael Cole and John “Bradshaw” Layfield to be quite intriguing.

Now as you will undoubtedly be aware, the WWE has made a big deal in recent years over their anti-bullying partner, Be A Star which has featured on numerous WWE produced programmes. It’s an initiative that does it’s utmost to counteract bullies in schools. Hence, you can imagine my surprise watching this week’s Ride Along where JBL and Michael Cole constantly berate and mock Byron Saxton on their recorded car journey. So what’s the story here WWE? I’m curious. Is this show intended not to be watched by young adults? because the message I’m getting here is that it is pretty much okay to humiliate your colleague or…

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What happened to good old storytelling in the WWE?

Times have changed somewhat in the WWE. For me, wrestling has meant different things. Back in the early 90s when I was just a kid, it was about larger than life heroes. It was about Hulk Hogan pulling his shirt apart and planting his opponents with the leg drop of doom. It was about the pride of Manchester the British Bulldog and the sinister Undertaker, accompanied a big old hearse and Paul Bearer. 

I took a rather long sabbatical from wrestling only to return to it once more in the year 2000, just after WrestleMania 16. Gone were the bold and bright tights and the outlandish gimmicks and in its place an edgier grittier product. You had The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H and guys like Chris Jericho. The audiences had also changed. Shows were more violent and the valets wore skimpier clothing. My eyes near FELL OUT the first time I saw Trish Stratus at Backlash, where she was kitted in white lingerie as she tried to get in the head of Bubba Ray Dudley. Since then, things have changed again. The shows became more family friendly. There’s less blood. Less foul language, more kiddy merchandise and the larger than life superheroes have returned somewhat with their “NEVER GIVE UP” attitudes and their accompanying t-shirts. The roles of women have changed too. Gone are the days when the women of the WWE were simply there to window dress. Sure, the girls are still beautiful but they are athletes now with a “I can do just what a man can do” attitude. An example of this is the first ever ladies Hell in a Cell Match this Sunday on the WWE Network. As for the men, there is plenty of talent there also. You could argue that the male competitors of the WWE are more athletic and technically minded than ever. For sure, they aren’t afraid to take a bump or too. But the ratings are also dropping. Is this simply because the content is now PG-13? Personally I think the problems are even more deep rooted than that. 

Now I am not going to lie here and say that I didn’t enjoy the Attitude Era. It was great. It was okay to say F U to your boss in the WWE or flip him the bird. Wrestlers seemed willing to go to the extreme in matches with a variety of weapons and spots that satiated even the most blood thirsty; and the red blooded males (the Trumps of this world) got their bra and panties matches too. Yes, many were happy seeing beautiful women and men beating each other senseless with weapons. But you see, those aren’t the only differences in how shows were formulated. 

Look at this week’s Hell in a Cell card for example. 

As it stands the card is:

WWE Universal Championship Hell in a Cell Match:

-Kevin Owens (c) vs. Seth Rollins

WWE Raw Women’s Championship Hell in a Cell Match:

-Sasha Banks (c) vs. Charlotte

WWE United States Championship Hell in a Cell Match:

-Roman Reigns (c) vs. Rusev (with Lana)

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Match:

-The New Day (c’s) vs. Sheamus and Cesaro

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match:

-TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick

-Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass

Let’s break it down. So for starters, you’ve got a tag team match with Enzo and Big Cass versus Gallows and Anderson. This match was thrown together two weeks ago. Investment level – zero. 

The Cruiserweight title match? Four weeks or really short segments with two guys that have shown very little charisma and a lacklustre opening match at Night of Champions. So we’ve essentially got a repeat of the last Raw PPV. 

Next, will be have New Day versus Sheamus and Cesaro. Well Sheamus and Cesaro have been at each other’s throats for a long time and now they are thrown together as partners. Their feud was meant to lead to bigger things but instead, maybe nothing more than a novelty tag team run while Gallows and Anderson get duped. 

Roman Reigns and Rusev next, in a Hell in a Cell Match. This is supposed to be one of the three main events. Firstly, it’s for the United States Title. Secondly, it’s so one sided it’s unbelievable and thirdly – it’s a pretty crap feud all round for a main event. No interest here

The Women’s Match is interesting. No doubt are thes girls talented athletes. But I’ve seen these two feud for so long now that I’m bored. Let’s hope this Hell in a Cell Match ends it. Does WWE even know who to turn to next? I don’t think they do. 

And finally, Kevin Owens versus Seth Rollins. Personally I think more people care about Chris Jericho and Seth Rollins. This feud has been going on for 6 weeks and it already gets a Hell in a Cell Match. No. just no. 

Basically, what I’m saying is that this show is not well formulated and leaves little to be desired. 

Now take a look at Fully Loaded from 2000. This was the July PPV. It also had a Triple main event. 

It started off with the Hardy Boyz and Lita versus Test, Albert and Trish Stratus. And while it was an opening match, it had some substance. Both teams were in the hunt for tag team gold and after both teams failed to win it at King of the Ring, they ended up feuding with each other. 

Tazz then fought Al Snow. Tazz had been running in during matches and attacking people and this was his first proper match back. A filler but with purpose. To see a bad ass Tazz. 

Next up was Eddie Guerrero and Perry Saturn for the European Title. Eddie and Saturn joined the WWE together as part of the Radicalz but his relationship with Chyna caused some friction. This happened over months and led to this feud. 

Edge and Christian defeated the APA in a match that followed weeks of E&C constantly finding excuses not to defend their titles against the APA who had yet to challenge them. Great comedic build up. 

Then came a cage match between Rikishi and Val Venis for the intercontinental title. It started at King of the Ring where Val lost to Rikishi in the semi finals only to beat him down after the match. Next night on Raw, through cheating,Val won the title off Rikishi. Things blew up between these two and led to a cage match. 

Then came main event 1 – Kurt Angle vs The Undertaker. Kurt Angle had just won the King of the Ring and the next night on Raw he got involved in a tag team match between his buddies Edge and Christian and the Undertaker and Kane, helping them to retain by attacking the Undertaker. Taker was mad and wanted revenge challenging Angle. 

The second main event was Triple H and Chris Jericho in a last man standing Match. At King of the Ring, Jericho kissed Triple H’s storyline wife Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, resulting in McMahon, costing him the King of the Ring tournament quarter-final match against Kurt Angle. On the June 26 episode of Raw is War, Jericho’s match with Triple H’s faction D-Generation X member X-Pac was interrupted when Triple H and DX attacked Jericho. Later that night, Jericho interfered in a Triple Threat match pitting Triple H against The Rock and Kurt Angle. Jericho attacked Triple H, costing him the match and another shot at the WWE title. These two had been at each other’s throats since before Backlash and was a great end to their feud. 

And then the main event which pitted The Rock against Chris Benoit over the WWF Championship. At King of the Ring, Rock won the title from Triple H in a six-man tag team match, when Rock and his partners The Undertaker and Kane defeated McMahon-Helmsley Faction (Triple H, Vince and Shane McMahon). On the July 3 episode of Raw is War, the WWF Commissioner Mick Foley announced that Rock would defend the title against Shane McMahon later that night. Rock defended the title against McMahon in the main event, which was interrupted by Benoit, who attacked Rock during the match. The next week on Raw is War, Rock and Benoit competed in a standard wrestling match. Although Benoit seemingly won the match after McMahon’s interference, but the referee Earl Hebner disqualified Benoit, due to McMahon’s interference. On the July 13 episode of SmackDown, Foley forced Benoit to wrestle Eddie Guerrero and Chyna in a Handicap match. Benoit lost by disqualification again and attacked Hebner, causing Rock to offer Benoit a WWF Championship title shot at Fully Loaded.

So while the time frames aren’t that excessively different, what is clear is that the writing back then seemed to flow better. Storylines seemed connected. There were less abrupt endings. There were less random attacks for no reasons. Guys had agendas and personal feuds that went on for months and everyone seemed to connect. The WWF was its only little universe. These days, storylines seem forced and unnatural. Why are all these Hell in a Cell matches needing to take place? Is that really necessary?

It’s a shame because the roster is there but the writing sadly is not.