Giving up the ghost

The following article is interesting, not only because it is well written and for that matter, well written by a pretty girl but it just underlines what it is that I hate about online dating. Before I tried, I was a hopeful sceptic but after many a night, I lost the hope. The thing is that you can never be completely sure of someone’s motivations. And it is very difficult to tell if someone is being genuine over phone call or text. You can meet someone and things seem great and the next moment they disappear. I had some ridiculous situations. So obviously when I hear stories I feel unsurprised. I even told my friend as much the other day who was excitedly telling me about this Italian man she met on one. He can’t meet her yet. He is currently in Italy and he calls himself an entrepreneur who is starting his own business. In what? Your guess is as good as mine. He also told her he wants to take her dancing as a first date. Is it me or is that too good to be true? Too suave? And that’s it. You never know with people these days and with the net.

Give me an old fashioned Hollywood romance any day!

Anna dates

After past experiences with online dating (one of which resulted in a short lived disaster of a relationship), 12 months ago I decided to give it up. Love would have to come to me, to seek me out and fall romantically and theatrically into my arms. That was the plan.

scarf12 months on, I re-download Tinder and Bumble.

A few idle swipes and attempts at riveting virtual conversation later and I find my self heading out on a date. A date with a man. I am nervous and out of practice, but how out of practice can you actually be at attempting to ‘be yourself’ for a couple of hours. He lives outside of London and so we decide to meet outside of Waterloo station and walk in the drizzle to Southbank for drinks.

Initial impressions are great and conversation is interesting, funny and flows well. Hoorah! We both seemingly…

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Dating Profiles and “Selling” Yourself

I wanted to spend some time today reflecting on something I have made a conscientious effort on over the last couple of years – online dating. These days, I think it’s pretty common. Meeting people isn’t easy is it and online dating offers you a way of broadening your selection. Even as little as five years ago, I couldn’t have imagined doing it but everything changed in 2015 after a most random conversation with my Mum. 

Dating has never been easy for me. When I was younger, I always developed feelings for people far too easy. Or I’d get close to someone and grow attached and I’d bottle that feeling up because I was afraid of rejection. At school, I had a major crush on the same girl for 7 years. Then when I went to university for my first degree, I fell in love for the first time and that became one hell of a crazy ride. I won’t go into the specifics but it didn’t end well and I ended up deeply in love with a person who had fallen for someone else and it took me quite some time to even accept or get used to that. I became very reserved after that, even more so than I was before and I only really snapped out of that 7 years later. And even so, it hit me hard when I heard she got married and more so when she had her first baby. But I digress. 

So anyway, I had a chat with my Mum and she said I should give it a go. I was sceptical. You see, four years ago, I became rather sick. Not like the flu style sick but life altering long term kind of sickness. I became mostly housebound, which meant less socialising and meeting new people. My means of meeting potential Mrs David had vanished. After a few years, my dear sweet Mum told me that I should try out online dating, which I swear was driven partially out of her desire for grandchildren. But anyway, I agreed and I signed up for Match.com at first. I was really excited but also afraid. You see, being sick meant that my body has changed drastically. At first, I lost 98 lbs in the space of some 4 months. Then, when I got put on treatment, my weight piled back on. These days I am majorly out of shape (not that I ever was in great shape mind you) and this meant that my photos were not as fetching as Joe Blogs topless with his six pack. The fact is, I could never sell myself well. My pictures were unremarkable. I’m a fat guy with a big nose. I’m also not particularly exciting. Sure, I have hobbies but being housebound means that I’m not exactly going to be able to go rock climbing or skydiving or whatever else the crazy kids of today are up to. Basically I’m a bit of a homebody. That doesn’t really match up with active tall dark and handsome. So how do you sell yourself in that position? 

After many months of rejection and insults, I called my time on online dating quits. It was a failed experiment but one that I had to see for myself. For many years, people told me that I’ve got to just put myself out there and I’d meet someone and I did and it didn’t work. Now I know that a guy like me is never going to find it easy in this game. 

So what does a guy like me do?

Match.com Raunchy Advert


Okay, so forgive me in advance if you think I’m sounding prudish or politically incorrect. This is far from my intention. 

However, I was recently quite surprised by the latest Match.com advert on TV. This advert was aired on national TV at no later than 9.00AM. 

The advert, called “Messy girl” has a young girl return home and starts to strip off into her underwear throwing her clothes off in every direction. As she is stripping off, her partner, another young woman returns. She catches one of her items of clothing before taking her top off revealing her bra and then and proceeds to make out out passionately with her partner. 

Here is the full advert 

Now from a male perspective, the advert is obviously not unappealing. I mean, it’s two attractive ladies making out in their underwear. BUT, is this appropriate viewing for television at 9 o’clock in the morning? 

I have nothing against alternative lifestyles and I’m in no way homophobic. If you are a woman who is attracted to other women or a man who is attracted to other men, then fair enough. Live and let live. But should children be seeing overly sexual tones on television? Some may argue that if it was a man and a woman making out on television, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. And perhaps I would be a little more accepting. I don’t know. Still, I feel that kids should not be exposed to overly sexual undertones. Indeed, I think there are a number of inappropriate perfume adverts where men and women are in next to no clothing and leaving very little to the imagination. Should kids be seeing this? You could argue that you’d see this sort of exposure on a beach. I guess my worry is kids seeing the passionate displays of affection. I don’t know if kids should be exposed to sex at such a young age. Shouldn’t these sorts of things be private? PLUS, aren’t adverts like these are not there to highlight alternative lifestyles but to make it seem sexy. 

My thoughts are all over the place with this. I’d love to know your thoughts.