Misunderstood [A Poem]


A poem about sharks:

With giant teeth and a sinister grin
They watch you sceptically
In deep blue waters; your body immersed
You glide so perfectly 

A killer they scream, blood thirsty and cruel,
Unqualified the labels they add,
When hunting is eating and eating is life,
The last thing you do is be bad 

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Arrogance (Poem)

I’m just so sexy 

You know it’s true. 

I may be fat 

And hairy too

But I don’t care

That’s who I am 

I’m not a fraud 

But what a man. 

I’ve got the brains 

A boffin prince

I am unique

The last in print. 

Just call me Barry,

Like Manilow 

Now be my Mandy 

Third base we’ll go

So now I’ll end 

This glorious piece

I know your love

Will never cease. 

 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

And Bahahahahahaha. 

Inspired by the theme song of Tyler Breeze. 

Enter the Chunk [A Poem]

Have you heard my name? 

It’s not a secret that I hide. 

It may not be up in the stars 

But I wear this badge with pride. 

It comes from simple observation

From wobbles in my tum

No six pack will you find with me 

Though apparently a nice bum. 

They call me chunky monkey 

And my moobs are there to see

I may not be a George Clooney

But there’s no one else like me. 

Boobs [A poem]

You’ve got to love boobs,

Well at least if you’re male 

It’s hard to say why 

But their charm never fails

It’s not about size

Or how bouncy they are. 

Give me a chance 

And I’ll make them go far 

I’m kidding of course

Though I like them a lot

They can make my day brighter

Yes I think they’re quite hot

My reasons for this

Of that I’m not sure

Maybe I’m tipsy

But my mind is not pure

Though soon I will sleep 

There’s one hope tonight 

That I’ll dream about boobs

Yeah, that would be alright. 

I miss Summer (Poem)

I miss the days of summer
though they have not long passed
the days of long warm weather
i knew they’d never last

Short skirts and plunging tops
No more this year i’ll see
My jaw will much less drop
Unless it’s on TV.

But my sadness is not for boobs
Though I like them all the same
For my mind is not that crude,
The reality far more tame

I’ll miss the heat that warms my skin
The long light evenings
So even though it’s Christmas soon
The summer, my heart will be in.