Thigh gaps and bikini bridges

I have heard some crazy things in my time but the latest one to catch my attention is this craze about women having thigh gaps and what can only be referred to as a “bikini bridge”. And honestly, I’m quite bemused, appalled and flabbergasted all at the same time.

Here is why…

I first came across the theory of the bikini bridge and indeed the “attractiveness” of the thigh gap on a TV show called Naked Attraction on the UK TV channel, Channel 4. The show, presented by Anna Richardson, has a clothed man or woman select two contestants from six naked men or women whose bodies and then faces are revealed in stages from the feet up. He or she then takes of their clothes to select one of the two finalists to go on a clothed date. Now, I don’t get shocked too easily but this show blew me away. Never before had I ever seen something so superficial. I mean, literally a woman would eliminate a man from the competition for his penis being too small or a woman being eliminated by a man for her lady bits sticking out too much. There is no way you can watch this show without feeling a million times more self conscious about yourself. And hey, I already hate my body! But anyway, so there was this one guy in the episode I did watch who was looking at his selection of girls and giving some rather intriguing reasons why he wanted to eliminate each girl. And while I won’t bore you with every answer, one took me by surprise.  He eliminated one girl because she didn’t have a gap between her thighs.


Now apparently this is a thing even though I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing. The guy on the show said that women with gaps in between their thighs are more flexible and better in bed. Further research into this craze led me to Wikipedia which stated that “The idea of the thigh gap received widespread news coverage in December 2012 after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show which featured several models with thin thighs. Images of thigh gaps featured in “thinspiration” blogs and across social networking sites. The Twitter account Cara’s Thigh Gap was started which used images of Cara Delevingne as an example of thigh gaps.”

Really?


I mean, okay, I have heard women talk about their thunder thighs before – something I have never truly understood – but this all seems a bit mad.

My research however led me further into the dark abyss of body shaming.

Bring on the bikini bridge. No, I can’t believe this is actually a thing but it is. This term apparently originates from as recent as 2009 and is defined as when bikini bottoms are suspended between hip bones, causing a space between the bikini and the lower abdomen. It started off as a hoax that got all too real when fake endorsements from celebrities such as Harry Styles and Justin Bieber made girls want to have this ridiculous look. Newsflash, it has no benefits whatsoever.


Girls, I’m going to let you into a secret. Thick thighs are not a bad thing. And nobody cares about bikini bridges. Trust me, if you are in a bikini, no guy with half a brain is going to be thinking “I wonder if she has a bikini bridge”. Actually thick thighs are REALLY SEXY. Little Mix recently performed “Shout out to my Ex” live on TV and all the girls bared their thighs. Each of them are of different proportions and not one of them looked unattractive. Far from it!


Basically, this comes back to a fundamental point that I have hammered home time and time again on my blog and that is that beauty should not be categorised as some object preset that all girls (and guys) should aspire to. Of course, some people will have preferences and the reasons behind that are intriguing. Indeed, a question whether this is a natural attraction or whether this is brainwashed into us from an early age as to what we should like. Body shape has no indication on what sort of a partner that person will be, how giving and understanding they will be. You could have the most “beautiful” woman in the world but if she is selfish and uncaring, she’s going to be a pretty shoddy partner. Body shape is no indication of how good a protector that person will be. After all, we don’t live in the Stone Age and a man doesn’t require brute strength to be “the man”. Frankly, if you want a meat head, that’s fine but I might be busy when you require something technical doing. Sorry about that. But more importantly, beauty and “perfection” comes in all shapes and sizes. When I think about my ideal partner, I don’t think about thigh gaps, perfectly flat stomachs or bikini bridges. Frankly, if she is in a bikini full stop, I’d be very excited regardless of the dimensions. It wouldn’t be about perfect cup sizes or big butts. But it would be able the moments we share and the intimacy that we have. If I can find a woman that cares about me enough to share her time with me, go through trials and tribulations together and generally be there for one another. To meet someone who I can connect with on every level, then I can guarantee you she will be the sexiest thing in my world. I have no schematic for that. In fact, the gap in between her thighs is the last of my concern. Lol, I realise I’m rambling here somewhat but you get my point, right? At the end of the day, everyone has beauty. The things that make them unattractive are usually not even physical. They are habits, actions and personalities. They are how that person chooses to be. These are the things that matter, at least to me. But maybe that’s why I’m single?  Who knows?

Either way, I will love you and leave you.

My best,

David

P.S. Marilyn Monroe never had a thigh gap and she is considered one of the most beautiful women of all time…

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Meghan Trainor is Wow!

Is it me or is Meghan Trainor so incredibly hot these days?


Now ladies, this isn’t exactly what you think. When I say she is hot, I’m not just referring to her in the looks sense. Don’t believe me? Well, yes, she is very attractive and she has an amazing set of legs. She’s also got an incredibly pretty smile and beautiful eyes. But that’s not all! There is something so endearing about her that just makes her a multitude more times attractive. 

I do laugh at some of the labels she gets though. Rolling Stone magazine labelled her in 2014 as the world’s most unlikely pop star while various periodicals have praised her as the poster girl for plus size women. I mean, seriously, when are we going to do away with these ridiculous labels. That being said, if she has inspired women to embrace their curves, then that’s all the better. I wish there were similar role models out there for men. Fat men are usually portrayed as lazy, stupid and pretty much awful human beings after all. 

One thing that makes Meghan so attractive is her retro style that she embraces. It’s pretty fun and I think it adds a nice twist to things. I mean, these days, the styles that go around are quite “interesting”.  It does help that she a talented singer songwriter too as talent is always attractive. I find that I am always drawn to people who are passionate. And of course, she also has a great voice too. 


I’m really hoping to see a lot more of her in 2017 and I’m hoping she doesn’t eventually conform to the standards that the media sets these days. I found it interesting that on her last album, the cover work or something had to be withdrawn because her picture had been doctored without her approval but she got that changed.  Hopefully they don’t eventually get to her…

Political Disconnect

I recently had a conversation with my Mum about my worries of the political disconnect that is rearing its worrisome head globally, and I thought you, my readers (and buddies), might also appreciate what was discussed. For the purposes of this discussion, I am going to focus on British politics although I find that the general principles I will be highlighting are not exclusive to my homeplace. Indeed, I think many of the points are very applicable to many other countries around the world and this highlights the worldwide malaise we are experiencing. 

I do not think it is a secret that the general population within the United Kingdom feels disconnected from their government. Indeed, the voting turnouts in our general elections have taken a staggering dive in the last century dropping from a turnout of 80% of the population in the 1950s to 60% in the most recent elections. People think that our elected officials are “all the same” or that they do NOT represent their views and beliefs. The common man cannot relate to a wealthy ultra educated career politician who has no experience of the “real world”. Important matters such as healthcare and education become back seat issues while divisive and emotion-driven issues such as immigration take the forefront. In the last election we had in 2015, it’s certainly true that issues such as immigration and the offer of a referendum on leaving the EU were high on the mind of the electorate. It’s odd but it’s much the case that when things are not prosperous, rather than blaming global economies or bad government management, the populous looks for alternate reasons for blame. In that sense, the immigrant population is an easy target.

But are the political parties the same? Well, no. They aren’t. And their foundations are not either. Indeed, the Liberal and Conservative parties have long and old histories in British politics while the Labour Party was founded by and for the working classes. But the “working class” has changed somewhat in recent times. Those who work are not necessarily living in poor conditions and the rise of the middle class has meant that the general population is even more divided. Political parties often focus on target populations with the conservatives protecting the wealthy while the Labour Party is supposed to represent the lower and working classes. Meanwhile, these days, the Liberal democrats represent something like in between.  A fundamental problem with all of the above is the leadership of all the parties. These leaders do not try to speak to the whole population. They do not try to connect. They speak to their fan bases and make promises primarily to keep those people on their side. I do not recall a time where I have felt that I have had a politician reach out to me, a voter and properly explain to me why I should vote for them. Often, the party leaders and main party members are more keen on collecting sound bites than they are making solid pertinent points. 

Like I said, the United Kingdom is a divided country. And I’m not just referring to the Home Nations. Indeed, there is a north/south divide in England as well as a dissociation between the West Country and the South. Places like Scotland do not feel that the major parties represent them at all and this has led to the increased presence of the Scottish Nationalist Party in those parts. The bottom line is that if parties like Labour and the Conservative party won’t give places like Scotland the time of day in their grand schemes which many voters often feel is London-centric, they will instead vote for a party who instead puts them first. This can have ugly ramifications. 

The fact is that the major political parties need to reach out to the general public. They need to be all inclusive. Poor people living in the North West of England couldn’t care less about big tax breaks being given to big business. It also seems that people living in mansions care more about the removal of mansion tax than the reduction of funding for the disabled and mentally impaired. It’s true that over the past few years, we have seen cuts for the unemployed and disabled lead to an increased number of suicides by people who don’t even have the money to feed themselves. Meanwhile, we hear about the government bending over backwards with deals and cuts to multinational businesses to keep them happy. Right now, there isn’t a party who represents or even tries to represent the majority. That is sad. And we are supposed to be living in a democracy. 

But it is not just the political system’s fault. The fact is that the political parties don’t feel they need to try because people don’t even pay attention to politics. In fact, politics is considered by many to be boring and unuseful. And the only way that we can, as a democracy, bring about change is by making a stand. It is our democratic duty to participate and it is their duty to listen. People need to think about what they want and how each of the political parties would affect them. They need to have conviction and not just make decisions based on what their family members have voted for in the past. If none of the parties represent you, make it known. Find a party that does. Canvas for them. If you are feeling brave, why not stand yourself? Again, that is your right. The whole deal with Brexit is a prime example of what happens when people don’t know what they are voting for. All they thought about was controlling borders but did they think about how else it would affect us? Hell, it’s a fact that after the EU vote, one of the most prevalent searches performed on google was “what is the EU!?” and “what does leaving the EU mean?”  That was AFTER they voted!! Many other people voted to leave purely as a protest vote. That is how dissatisfied with the government they have that they would vote against something just because the government said we should stay. Even though it was at OUR DETRIMEMT. 

It’s really quite scary. 

We need a change in our political system urgently and people need to stand up and be counted. We need to have our voices heard but we need to make sense and think carefully. We shouldn’t just be after reactions. Be the change you want to be. Be smart. Be sensible. 

Participate

Do not let the days slip by, especially those you have free. Use your time wisely, when you when you have other commitments to attend to. Never leave a second unused. Each moment will pass. You will not get another. You do not know what tomorrow will bring. Tell those who mean something to you that you love them. Never assume. Never waste time on those who are not worth your time. Try not to hold grudges. Hatred is wasted energy. Be kind to animals. They appreciate your love just as we do. Treat yourself. You deserve it. Give everyone a chance. Trust is earned. Don’t expect anything from anybody. Believe in the future. Try to help those less fortunate. Never stop learning. Media is your friend. See the world. Don’t watch it on a screen. Listen to your body. Take care of it. Look after your mind too. Do not neglect your teeth. Smiles are great and toothache is not. Seriously it hurts. Do not put off till tomorrow what can be done today. Take chances. Be inquisitive. Try new things. Do not take liberties. Listen to advice. Experience and wisdom is useful. Do not take the planet for granted. Reach for the stars. Don’t be afraid to open yourself up to people. Don’t put people down. Participate. 

Have you ever wondered what has happened to Kevin McCallister? 

You know the story! You must! Kevin McCallister is the 8 year old boy who was left all be his lonesome in the 1990 smash hit movie Home Alone. The film, which also starred Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, is pretty straight forward. By accident, Kevin’s family take a trip to Paris, France but accidentally forget him when his sister makes a mistake while taking a headcount. Kevin is forced to survive on his own but matters take a turn for the worse when he realises that there are two criminals who plan to burgle most of the homes on the street including his own, which is considered the prize target. Kevin, who is unfortunately unable to contact the police due to downed phone lines, takes it upon himself to defend his home against these home invaders in hilarious fashion. 


The movie later spawned a sequel, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York where a mix up at the airport leads Kevin to taking the wrong flight and becomes once again separated from his family again, but this time in New York. 

So I ask you, what becomes of a young man who is twice abandoned by his family at Christmas time?

Jack Dishel has all the answers

There is also a hilarious follow up from Marv!

Would you date an OBESE person?

Recently, I’ve been reading some very interesting articles as well as Reddit posts and Yahoo Q&As on a topic close to my heart. As someone who has always struggled with his weight, I have always found it difficult to form intimate relationships with people of the opposite sex. You see, you get this idea that you are worthless; that you are unable to attract women because you are fat and half the time you don’t even bother trying. It’s tough. However, my experiences as a singleton are far from unique. In 2011, 70,000 men were polled by ASK and Cosmopolitan Magazine indicated that nearly half of the men they polled would dump their girlfriend if she was “fat” while nearly 25% of women polled would dump their partner if they got fat. It’s really a rather disturbing statistic. 


I was wondering what your thoughts were on dating someone that was overweight. I don’t want to get too serious about the whole situation or play the proverbial violin. I realise you ladies don’t want to get squashed making love after all! (Though you do know that the guy doesn’t have to go on top!). But it’s a hard one. I realise that initial attraction and attraction in general is more than just a personality thing. You can find a person to be enchanting, inspirational, brilliant and so forth but that doesn’t mean that you want to sleep with them. Physical attraction isn’t something that you can completely ignore. I understand this. Yet, I find myself quite bitter about it anyway. I guess it’s partly because of the stigma attached with being a fat person. If you are fat, then people think you are lazy or that you don’t care about yourself or your appearance. They think that all you do is eat junk food. In many ways, they treat you like a subhuman. I’ve been walking down the street before and I’ve had someone wind down their windows just to make fun of me or to throw something at me. Yes, I am 20 stone. Am I happy about this? No. Is it because I’m lazy? No. Actually, in 2012, I became extremely unwell. I ended up in critical care in fact. I lost nearly 7 stone in weight and was at a great natural weight. But then, as the months went on, so did the medications – medications that I needed to get through the day. Sadly, the consequence of this was some quite heavy weight gain. And now that I find it hard to exercise vigorously because of my health, the fact that these drugs negatively affect my metabolism means that I have gained substantial weight. Does it make me look attractive? Okay, probably not. But when people use that as a reason not to be with you, it sucks. Like I said though, I DO understand. I really do. It’s an attraction thing and you can’t ignore it. Plus I have a big nose ha ha so that can’t help. 

I do really love this “body positivity” movement though. Just check the Body Positive Babe who has a blog here. I have the utmost admiration for her and her confidence. Her photos also do little good for my blood pressure too I should add! But I wish I had her confidence. People shouldn’t be ashamed of how they look! I think that it’s important that people stay healthy, and I mean that not to impress others but purely for longevity. But then again, it’s your life and you can choose what to do with it. However, the idea that people would dump their partner just because they were too heavy makes me very sad. It’s the implication that your weight is such an important factor to someone that they would again use it as a reason not to be with you. It’s not really that fantastic a romance is it? It’s saying – “you were fun to be around but now you are chunky I’m no longer interested”. How do these people survive pregnancy?

It’s not too surprising that people think romance is dead these days. The great love stories of old spoke nothing of true love that was maintained by a treadmill. Imagine Romeo and Juiliet…”Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night. ” – unless she gets fat, then I’ll be off alright!

What I’m really saying in the end is that while I understand that people say there is a need for an attraction, or even a physical attraction, is this attraction really that binary? Should every man look like Jared Leto and every woman look like Beyoncé? Is attraction really that straightforward? Can it be measured by the definition of your abdominal muscles or by the size of your breasts? I really hope we don’t live in a world that superficial. 

Devoted woman who will not leave her paralysed partner’s side. 

I heard another heartwarming story today that I wanted to share with you all. This one comes from Guangxi in China. 

The tragic but heartwarming story  is of a 27-year-old woman, who patiently looks after her fiancé after he had become paralyzed following a work-related accident. 


Liao Mingpei, got to know her fiance, Jiang Pengfei, in 2009 when she worked in Guangxi’s Baise city. And not long after that, the two fell in love. 

The couple did not have the easiest of times either. Because of bizarre circumstances, the couple were not allowed to tie the knot. Apparently, for some unexplained reason, Jiang’s age was registered on his hukou as three years younger than his real age. And if you weren’t aware, China’s Marital Law dictates that men have to be 22 years old to get married, while women must be 20. This caused further issues when Liao became pregnant and their daughter was born out of wedlock.

Sadly, things took an even sharper turn for the worse in August of 2015. Jiang was badly injured and became paralyzed after a piece of metal fell onto his head at work, damaging his skull. The family exhausted their savings to pay for his medical care, which put them 120,000 yuan in debt. According to the Shanghaiist, Jiang is also not fully conscious. 

In a cruel world, Liao could have just picked up her daughter and walked out on Jiang. Indeed, this is the same world where Newt Gingrich served his wife divorce papers the day after she had an operation to remove tumours. But no, Liao remained dedicated to her partner. Indeed, she has patiently looked after Jiang every day afterward. When he needs to drink water, she gives him an injection. When he needs to get something out of his throat, she turns him over to one side and pats his back. Furthermore, each day, Liao and Jiang’s mother also hike up into the mountains to collect herbs. After they come back home, they boil the herbs and help Jiang take a bath.


To this day, Liao dreams that one day Jiang will wake up and they will hold their daughter’s hands and shoot a series of wedding photos. When questioned by reporters, Liao beautifully stated that “A day together as ‘one’ means endless devotion for the rest of your life.”

Here’s wishing that Jiang makes a full recovery and that one day this couple can have the wedding photos that had always hoped they’d have.