Exploring the truth: can a fat person be sexy?

I’ve gone over similar topics to this before but a website I came upon gave me the desire to bring it to the front once more. Why? Well, it’s probably because I’m a fat guy with confidence issues. It’s cool though, I’m working on that. 

Anyway, the website I came across is called “GirlsAskGuys”. You may have heard of it. It’s also available as an app and basically the name of the game is to ask people of the opposite sex questions that are on your mind. In theory, it’s actually quite an amusing idea. 

That being said, I came across a question which asked girls whether fat guys who have confidence can be attractive. INTERESTING! I literally couldn’t help myself. I mean, if you were to ask a bunch of internet men the same questions about girls, you wouldn’t be surprised to get responses like “I’d shag her but probably not date her” or “I don’t do fat chicks”. You know, pretty Neanderthal-like behaviour. But girls are meant to be fairer sex right? 

For me, it’s interesting because, most of my life, whenever I have approached a woman I’m attracted to, I get told the same thing. “David, I think you are a really great guy but you are just not my “type”. Ok. And the first couple of times you take it on the chin. You accept that it might be just that she doesn’t think you would match each other well. But there is always part of you that thinks it’s because you are fat. Hell, one time on Match.com, I was told that she’d be more interested if I lost a lot of weight. And like I’ve said hundreds of times before, I accept that it would be wrong to date someone you aren’t attracted to. BUT, then again, it would be impossible for me to count the number of girls who have said to me that looks do not matter. It’s personality. This has always left me sceptical. And hey, it’s been fairly well accepted that while a high percentage of men are superficial, women, well, you gals like to tell us men that you aren’t. So are us men and women that different?

Here are some of the answers that girls gave as to whether they could find a confident fat man attractive….

“My cousin’s like that, he has no self-confidence or self-esteem issues, and an awesome personality to boot  He makes a lot of friends, but when it comes to a girlfriend things get to be more challenging. He’s working on being healthier and losing weight though, and not because he doesn’t like himself, but because he wants to improve himself. I think that’s great, and important too. It also depends on what kind of girl you’re looking for. If it matters to you that you’re with a girl that’s fit, then it’s only realistic to be fit yourself. 

As for me, I know I have to be attracted to someone to be in a relationship with them, and I find fit and healthy to be attractive. However, I think I place more importance on personality than appearance. So, I may not be attracted to an overweight guy on sight, but perhaps I would be once I got to know him. Confidence will certainly help, but there’s so much more to attraction than just looks and confidence. For instance, I’ve found good-looking guys to be unattractive before, and usually because I can’t stand arrogance. Anyway, in the end it really depends on the guy.”

“I find myself strangely attracted to confident, overweight guys. I don’t know my big thing with any guy, regardless of size is confidence, but overweight guys win my vote fo sho! Of course, I would never want a guy to exploit this attraction I have as an excuse to completely disregard all aspects of a healthy lifestyle, haha. Life is beautiful~the least we can do is show respect to our bodies by eating great for the most part and some form of exercise. I guy I’m talking to describes himself as doughy, whatever that means. But if that’s anything like what I see in my head then I say yum yum  The kicker is, he’s happy with himself and that’s the most attractive part~ Confidence ftw!”

“No fat guys”

“It depends how fat. If a guy is slightly chubby then I’m down with it but for me fat is not attractive. Also, being overweight gives me the impression that you’re lazy and don’t don’t particularly care about your appearance. Though, if he has some sort of health problem that makes him overweight and he can’t control it then that’s a different issue. I know I’m going to get downs for this but I can’t force myself to be attracted to people who I’m not.”

“Confidence goes a long way and if I like the guy weight would not matter as long as he is still active. I have been overweight at one time myself, so I have learned not to be as shallow and judgmental as some when it comes to appearance.”

“Attractive! As long as he can move around, then I have no problem with it.”

“Unattractive. There is NO excuse for being overweight, being overweight is unattractive, it shows the person does NOT care about themselves, their appearance or their health and being overweight is a choice.

Confidence does not fix ugly or obesity.”
“No excuse-True


Do not care about themselves-True

It’s a choice-True

They’re so lazy as to not get fit that they DESPERATELY want fat to be considered attractive?”

“honestly I don’t care what a guy looks like its the personilty that matters to me because I get the same thing done to me, most guys don’t like me because I’m cubby and usually the same personality goes with girls on how they don’t like heavy guys which I find is really annoying, because most of the heavy guys are really sweet :]”

“Nope. Fat just isn’t attractive. If a fat guy has confidence, he should have the confidence to get in shape!”

“I couldn’t do it … But I know woman that love men with extra love !”

“If he’s a good guy. Someone who can make me feel comfortable. Why not?”

“It’s not my thing because I try really hard to stay thin. But some girls would be fine with it.”

“Im sorry. Fat people are unattractive, even chubby guys are not attractive. They let themselves go. It’s just stupid. “I eat because I’m deppressed.” Oh get a f***in life.”

“i wouldn’t date someone fat”

“It just depends how big you are if your just overweight cofidence can overshadow up to bout 40lbs but if you are obese I would work to lose weight not just for girls but so you can live longer and happier.”

For those interested, the website GirlsAskGuys is available @ http://girlsaskguys.com

As for what I think…well. I definitely think there is an argument out of there that women are as shallow as their male counterparts. But that being said, there was a fair mix of opinions out there. As for those who think that fat people are lazy, I actually lost 100lbs before regaining it all because of medication.  That’s life and it’s very sad that your world is so black and white. 

But hey, it wouldn’t pay for us all to be the same. Would it?

Lingerie Hey!

Over the past few days, I have noticed a number of girls mention both on here and on other forms of media that while THEY feel sexy in their underwear, they rarely ever get complimented on their underwear. Is this true? I mean, I hope it’s not the case! Yes, you could say that underwear is to a woman’s body what wrapping paper is to a Christmas present and while it may look nice, really it’s what underneath that the receiver is excited about. But actually, it’s more than that isn’t it. It’s an intricate thing. While you might think that the bows and wrappings are overkill, actually it adds to the excitement. It makes you more curious perhaps. It certainly can add to the grandeur of the gift. I know that is a lot of metaphors to throw around but you get my drift. FURTHERMORE, sometimes, the idea of less is more doesn’t always apply to underwear. You may think that just having a thread is sexy but a little bit more can actually be more sexy. 

For example:

THIS is sexy 

While THIS is NOT. 

At the end of the day, it all does come down to taste. But I want to take this time to thank all you ladies who painstakingly go to all the effort to look your best. And while I know that you don’t do it for us men necessarily (it’s to make you feel sexy yourselves),  I want to thank you for the effort you put in to the tiniest detail to make you that little bit more awesome. 

PS. I just want all of you to know that scrolling through pictures of women in lingerie to find appropriate pictures was a gruelling task that I unfortunately had to endure. I am grateful for your sympathies and understanding for my welfare at this time!


Why oh why did “pussy” become a bad word?

Serious question here. Whatever happened to using words in a nice way? And no I’m not saying that THAT isn’t a nice thing but why do we have to use words that mean other things to describe it. 

When I was just a little kid, if someone said “pussy” to me, it would be said as a referral to pussycat. You know, I was that little boy walking down my street calling for my cats saying “HERE kitty kitty! Here puss puss!”

It’s weird don’t you think? And you know, with me now being older, it’s sad that the innocence is gone. And it’s not that I mind being more aware of sex and sexuality, it’s just that it was nicer when the word pussy just simply meant cat. Because now, whenever I hear someone say “aww look at that pussy”, it becomes all weird and I feel like I should say something because it’s not appropriate. But it’s only inappropriate because we made it inappropriate!!! Well damn it! I’m taking it back! And if I want my pussy, I’m not going to be embarrassed about saying it!

Oh and if you are interested, people on the continent have some other interesting turns of phrase for female genitalia. The Portuguese one sounds particularly fetching (either Portuguese men are pigs or Portuguese women have low self esteem). 

Words referring to cats are used as vulgar slang for female genitals in some other European languages as well. Examples include German Muschi (literally “house cat”), French chatte (“female cat”, also used to refer to sexual intercourse), and Dutch poes (“puss”). The Portuguese term rata (literally “female rat”)and Norwegian mus (“mouse”) are also animal terms used as vulgar slang for women’s genitals.

Wise words from a friend

So I had a chat with a good friend this morning and we spoke about many things: football, politics, Christmas etc. We also spoke about a certain lady who has been the subject of a few of my blog posts. Yes, you guessed it. My crush. 

Without getting into the logistics of it all which in itself is a fair point (by that I mean, the beauty and the hindrance of any relationship in the blogosphere is that its participants are worldwide and not often in close  proximity), we spoke in length about my feelings and what they meant. Basically, the thing about developing feelings about someone through a blog is that you base your crush on perceptions of written words and perhaps a photo or two. In that sense, it is even different to love at first sight when you make a judgement based on mannerisms etc. What I’m saying is that I really do not know this person very well at all. Let me break it down further. I am and always have been a bit of a dreamer and silly heart. And I would love nothing more than to have some big amazing romance to happen through the most unlikely of places such as through WordPress. I can’t help but be a bit of a romantic. But my friend said that I had to be logical too. Romances very rarely come out of things like this. They come out of traditional means like face to face conversations or at the very least conversations where you can hear the other person speak. How else can you gauge a person’s sincerity? Hell, he felt that people would be “nice” or complimentary because they wanted you to follow their blog and comment on there’s too. I guess that’s true. We do interact with people on here often not out of generosity but also out of building a universe for you to interact in. And often it is the people that you interact with which are the people that interact back at you. You know, the whole, you like my posts and I’ll like yours. You do have a tendency for people on here to like posts they haven’t read through but because they feel obliged to support the post. I’m sure everyone has been guilty of skim reading and liking a post without fully taking it in. 

ANYWAY, after our conversation, I’ve had a bit of a think about things and I’ve decided that I am going to take a huge step back with things. At the end of the day, she’s the opposite side of the world and I’m in the U.K (Hell, even if she was in America that would be easier as at least I have family there!) so that’s a big stumbling block on it’s own AND like I said, I really don’t know her all that well. Hopefully if she reads this she doesn’t take offence. I still think she is a lovely caring person. I still think she is beautiful. But I really want to meet someone the right way. Perhaps it is time for me to stop being a dreamer and to be a realist. At least that way I was won’t suffer heartache again and that is in essence what my friend was most concerned about. I’ve fallen for the wrong people before and it’s me who gets hurt. Protect myself first. 

Sorry to all those who were encouraging about it all but I think this is probably for the best!


Why are men attracted to a lady’s legs?

In Psychology Today, Dr Leon Seltzer hypothesises what it is about a woman’s legs that is so appealing to men. 

The article, published in May 2016, looks at various theories why a woman’s legs are so desirable.  It seems that there is no straightforward answer either. One man on a Quora question said that he associated the amount of leg on display as an indication of “sexual availability” while others associated their legs as a pivotal lead to other parts of a woman’s anatomy.  Either way, there are a number of theories surrounding this attraction and it is an interesting read. Check it out @ This Address

Men and Penis Envy

I recently saw this interesting article in a publication called Psychology Tomorrow which publishes interesting articles on a variety of topics. 

Today, I saw an article which tackled th subject of Penis Envy and how size effects a man’s self esteem. The article itself is somewhat of an extension of an article in Psychology Today that was retracted in 2012 on penis envy. 

It stated:

“The center of a man’s existence is his penis. At the root of his self-worth is how he feels about the size of his penis and what he thinks about its ability to please his partners.”

The statement is actually quite an interesting one. Indeed, a man’s relationship with his penis is a complicated one. There is the idea that a man with a “big dick” has a sense of entitlement. It brings into play this idea of a man having “big balls” and having the ability to power through anything purely because of his manhood. Then, you have this idea of the guy with the small dick being this irritating little twerp who goes through life bullying his co-workers and who acts like somewhat of a know-it-all. Even in the current Presidential Elections, you’ll see people say that Donald Trump has a small penis and that makes him less of a man. I don’t like Donald Trump at all but that sort of comment is below the belt (haha, sorry!)

There isn’t a man who hasn’t compared the size of his penis to other men in the locker room or at the urinal, a sizing-up that leads to either a prideful smile or a sense of inadequacy. And men will worry about how they will measure up with their partner’s former lovers. Will she be satisfied, happy, or disappointed by your appearance. It’s rather nerve wracking. 

Of course, if a guy deals with all these size issues and actually starts having sex without a panic attack, there’s always the matter of sexual performance nagging at him. Will he be able to sustain his erection? Let’s face it. There isn’t a man whose uncooperatively limp penis hasn’t embarrassed him at some time during sex. And if that isn’t the concern, then there’s the mortal fear of premature ejaculation or taking too long to come and boring your partner. Yep, this is all so much fun and anxiety provoking. 

For a man, their penis size gives a man their sense of virility. And beyond a man’s athleticism and job prestige/earning power, his penis size is a symbol of one’ masculinity. Of course this isn’t helped by TV shows like Hung and Sex in the City where attractive women speak of their preference for a large Johnson. I mean, I had such a thing for Charlotte back in the day!

The truth behind what women want is less clear. Indeed, many women will say that size doesn’t matter but it’s how you use it while others will clearly show a preference for it. I think that the “modern” girl though isn’t afraid to make it known that she wants someone who is as equally good looking as they are interesting and they days are gone when a nice guy can meet a good woman without putting any effort into his looks. I mean, let’s face it. We live in a superficial society and many men have gone completely superficial for years. So why not? Women can do the same. It’s just unfortunate for guys like me who are not good looking that we are no longer able to win a girl over with charm! I mean, I’m pretty screwed in that regard. 

Either way, men are becoming more and more anxious about the way they look and their pulling power. And while you can, with money, pretty much correct most things physically, the size of your penis cannot be changed easily, at least not without severe risk to fertility. 

But what are the facts?

Researchers at Kings College London analyzed data from more than 20 studies with more than 15,000 men, who underwent penis size measurements by health professionals using a standardized procedure. The average man’s lengths were 3.61 inches flaccid, 5.17 inches erect; the average circumferences were 3.67 inches flaccid and 4.59 inches erect. So, in truth, unless you have watched too much poor and think that every man is endowed like Dirk Diggler, you probably are in the norm anyway. 


Penis envy is another example of anxiety in an ever increasing superficial world. You are judged on whether you are fat, thin, old, young, endowed, or not endowed. People have unrealistic expectations of what they should be or should not. It’s a sad reality that girls and guys don’t want average people anymore. They only want guys and girls that fit the media darlings and anyone else is less than perfect. I know that it has made me question the likelihood of ever being in a meaningful relationship.  And if I never am, I won’t be surprised. 

Megyn Kelly – my new crush

Have you heard of Megyn Kelly? If you are British, you probably haven’t. Until recently, I hadn’t heard about her either. 

But her recent exploits in the American media (namely Fox News) have caught my eye and I’m fascinated by her. 

There is no question that Kelly is a beautiful. Her sea green eyes and amazing smile are hard to ignore but make no mistake, she is far more than window dressing in the media. Kelly is a former corporate defence attorney so make no mistake about it – this lady knows how to handle herself.  

But what really caught my eye about Kelly is how she handles herself in a male dominated world. Fox, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch, has never shied away from window dressing. This is evident on a lot of Murdoch’s broadcasting, even in the U.K. where he has attractive young females anchor news and sports news to help bring in the audience. And half the time, these ladies have spurious links to sport at best. Kelly doesn’t just look the part in this regard but acts it in equal measure with hardlined questioning and a tenacity to press her guests to the very best of her abilities. This has been seen on numerous occasions throughout the Trump/Clinton presidency campaign with guests such as Newt Gingrich. Gingrich was perplexed when Kelly questioned him about Trump’s alleged inappropriate behaviour towards women and attempted to shout her down in a tense conversation where he even accused her of being “obsessed with sex”. 

By the way, Newt Gingrich is a three time cheat and well known philanderer who at one point said that he behaved poorly (in reference to his adultery) because of “how passionately” he felt about his country. (America). I kid you not. 

It’s true that Megyn Kelly has had her fair shares of metaphorical scuffles with guests on her television show and I am reasonably sure that this is, at least in part,  down to her gender. You see, many of male guests often seem baffled by her resilience and her determination to aggressively question them. Like Gingrich, many even get quite angry and expect her to defer to them like some good subservient woman. Maybe in their minds, she is there to just look good. Gingrich was annoyed. Donald Trump too has had his issues with her too. Indeed, during the Presidential Primaries, Kelly called Trump out on how he respects women, which completely blindsided him. After the debate, Trump told Morning Joe that he believed she should apologize. “There was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever,” he told CNN days later.

Kelly also is a woman of integrity and who has no qualms with arguing her corner on things she disagrees with, which is no less than you’d expect from an attorney. In a 2013 interview, she took on conservative pundits Erik Erickson and Lou Dobbs, both of whom were arguing that feminism was turning women into a race of dominant man-eaters. Kelly was infuriated by her guests’ insistence that working mothers were at the root of society’s downfall and that women who work out of the home were responsible for divorce and consequently social chaos. Dobbs was so annoyed at her willingness to debate this issue that he at one point admonished her referring to her as “oh dominant one” for refusing to cave in to their philosophy. 

This is certainly a major reason behind both my attraction and fascination of Megyn Kelly. She’s unpredictable, intelligent and doesn’t surrender. Plus, despite appearing on Fox’s predominantly biased broadcasting network (Fox doesn’t hide the fact that it is Pro-Republican), seems to be partisan and consequently of interest to viewers across the political spectrum (excluding those who don’t like strong intelligent women). For those people, Megyn Kelly is somewhat of an enigma. She doesn’t conform to their definition of what a woman should be and despite their best efforts, she also doesn’t waver to aggression or attempts to shut her down. And I doubt that those men will ever understand why she will never cater to their whims because those men just want their women to look good and nothing more. 

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no!

Everybody has awkward moments. Sometimes they are with friends; other times with family. However, most are not as bad as THIS ARTICLE posted in the Daily Mirror today. 

So the story revolves around an unidentified young woman who seeked help from Reddit following a very unfortunate situation where her sister and two children payed her a surprise visit one Sunday afternoon. 

The woman, who lives alone, who is usually a very private person had handed out her house key to her close family members. So when her sister came to visit her, she let herself right into the house. And despite asking that her sister or any family member call in advance or let her know that she is coming, she turned up unannounced while she was right in the middle of a very loud orgasm. 

The woman explained “I had some quiet music on in my bedroom, but it was just loud enough to cover her opening the door and walking in.”

“Now, she didn’t come into my bedroom, but I was right in the middle of a rather loud orgasm as I realised something was off.”
She got dressed and rushed downstairs to speak to her sister but by the time she got there, her sister was already filling up the car and making her escape. 

Pretty mortifying right?

But, if that humiliation wasn’t enough, the girl’s sister later broached the subject and was ANGRY at her for pleasuring herself that morning. 

“she told me I should have known it was a possibility that they would visit on a Sunday afternoon”. 

Wow, so you turn up at your sister’s house unannounced on a weekend, you let yourself without as much as knocking or ringing a doorbell and yet you’re the angry one? Okay….

Personally I’d take my key back. Do you think the girl was in the wrong? What would you have done? Have you had any equally embarrassing stories from unannounced guests?

Take care my peeps!

Is this really Business in Hong Kong?

They say sex sells and I guess it does. These days you get perfume adverts on TV with semi-naked men and women lying around leaving little to the imagination and it must work because otherwise, why would they do it?

But this Hong Kong jewellery firm took things one step too far as seen in the following video. 

Yep, this business decided to have a poor young girl stand nearly topless behind a counter with only small pictures of diamonds covering her nipples to sell jewellery. Really? And while exploiting women for merchandise or for any reason is ever acceptable, you have to wonder what sort of target market this business is looking for by putting this poor girl through this. What is just as strange is that people are walking past like it is just another day at the office. These tactics are sleezy, nauseating and down right pathetic. What sort of message is this sending to people? Please by my jewellery because of the naked girl? And what sort of message is it sending to young children? That women are useful just to window dress? Ugh! It is such a backward and deplorable attitude for the 21st Century.