Sex Robots. Wait what? Since when did I enter Westworld?

One of the latest stories of the day is that of Sex robot ‘clones’, made to order, that are identical to your favourite celebrity crush and which will even have their own PULSE. I know…I’m creeped out too. 

Love and Sex with Robots author David Levy has claimed the sex robots “are coming” to a store near you, he tells the Daily Star, which granted is the bastion of knowledge here in the UK. 

They would used photographs to build the human replicas and maybe even have them sound like the person.

Mr Levy is quoted as saying “Once the technology and the whole system of ordering and manufacturing these products becomes sophisticated, you won’t be able to stop your ex-boyfriend if he wants to order a robot that looks like you, same size as you, with the same voice as you”. 

He also BELIEVES that the range could also extend to a celebrity line, with A-listers licensing their images. Sure, I can see that level of depravity happening – well, maybe with Charlie Sheen or Pamela Anderson. 

The reality of this story is somewhat mixed. Writer and Sex Councillor Ian Kerner recently told the Daily Mirror that these robots would enable couples to have fantasy threesomes and also for sex-hungry partners to be able to “act out fantasies” without the cause for concern or jealousy. PERSONALLY, I think I would have a bit of an issue if my girlfriend was going steady with someone else, whether it be another man, woman or advanced vacuum cleaner but that’s just me. Regardless, it is heavily debated how soon these robots will reach the market. While some people have estimated them to be here “soon”, others believe that they are still far away. Nevertheless, one thing for certain is that the sex technology industry is an ever growing and fast moving industry and some have predicted that these machines could be around realistically as near as 2030. 

Personally, it seems all a bit too cringeworthy for me. 

This is one bishop I wouldn’t go to…

Ghanaian preacher Daniel Obinim has been filmed performing a ritual where he moves around a room full of men, grabbing them each by the crotch. In some cases, he will keep hold of their penises and give them a little shake.

Apparently this is done because he is able to make men’s penises larger by massaging them with his hands. I kid you not. 

Graciously, he also offers to massage women’s breasts in order to enlarge them too.

In a scene broadcast on his own channel, Obinim TV, the bishop says: “If you do not like the looks of any part of your body, come to me”

“What do you want that I can’t offer? If you want big buttocks I can do it for you. If you want big breasts, I can help. If you have a small manhood, I can change them all when I come to the spiritual realm.”

Bishop Obinim founded the International God’s Way Church in the Ashanti region of Ghana and SHOCKINGLY has been criticised for his practices before. 

Here he is working his magic. 14 inches please!

Snake on a plane? Seriously?

THAT’S IT! I’ve had it with these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane. Oh Samuel L Jackson I love you. But anyway…

I just heard the craziest story. 

A large snake was found slithering inside the passenger cabin of an Aeromexico flight en route to Mexico City recently and the plane was given priority to land there.  

In a video posted online, the green snake can be seen inching along near an overhead luggage compartment before slipping and dangling from its tail, scaring passengers.

Aeromexico is apparently investigating how the snake got onboard the plane though they felt that the incident was not an emergency. It’s obvious though isn’t it? Haven’t they seen the famous movie? It was all part of some sinister ploy. Personally if I had seen a snake onboard, I’d have requested to move seats or better yet, locate the chutes! Just kidding! Here is the video from the passenger. 

Chinese man claims to tell women’s fortune by cupping their breasts. 

I kid you not. This story is true. What is more surprising is that one woman actually let this guy do it. 

The video was recorded by passers by who couldn’t believe what they were seeing. 

The short clip was posted to video-sharing site Miaopai and shows the man, holding a pair of crutches in his other hand, sitting impassively as he puts his hand inside the woman’s top.

He appears emotionless about the woman’s future, as she rests her chin on her hand. I wonder what her future held? 

The video is available here 

Wacky Signs 2: Return of the Wack

Hey guys and girls,

I thought I’d give you another round of humorous signs since I know you lot enjoyed them and I enjoyed finding them too. So here is a new top 10. Starting at 1…

1. Crazy after club activities in China

Lets all go down to the impregnation room and get our jiggies on, man! Protection NOT optional. 

2. This masseuse does it all. 

Yeah, I hear this place is very hands on if you know what I mean. Good thing they have obscured glass windows. 

3. Nigel Farrage’s home town. 

It isn’t actually Nigel’s home town but you know, it’s the sort of mad British town name that makes you want to cover your face. 

4. Trump Hotels

Haha I couldn’t resist. We all know that no one has more respect for women than he does, honest. He wouldn’t even call Megyn Kelly a bimbo because it wasn’t “politically correct”. 

Note the following:

Yes, I know, I have a massive crush on Megyn Kelly blah blah blah but it still doesn’t change that Trump is a jerk and a mysogonist 

5. Let’s Dance

Lol! Someone must have had good fun making this sign! Who wants to swing their hips with me? (DANCING YOU PERVERTS!)

6. The Giving Man

That explains why women like men with loose tongues. Usually, that’s helped with a few alcoholic beverages. 

7. The Klan is now building parks?

I guess it can’t be much fun though with all the burning crosses and such. 

8. I love breakfast food. 

I wonder if they have cream or maple syrup. Both could be fun but I’d be worried you are more likely to attract bugs with the syrup. 

9. My lawn is making me paranoid. 

It’s smiling? Next it will be talking. I think someone needs therapy. 

10. Damn it!

And I thought any item that requires careful fitting is try before you buy?

Wacky Signs

Okay so I have been saving up some of these wacky signs for your approval. So I very much hope you enjoy the following:

1. Do they know Mr Trump?

Okay so this sign is pretty straight forward. I’m wondering if they have it at Republican rallies. Only problem is that surely that hand is too big to be the Donald’s! 

2. Trump’s next business venture. 

Well, we’ve had Trump University and Trump Casinos. Why not have Nipple Convalescent home. Do you think they have topless nurses?

3. Trump’s policy on cheese

I laughed out loud when I saw this. It also made me want a pizza. 

4. Err what?

I can’t quite get my head around this one. Last time I checked that even in the dodgiest places you couldn’t advertise this!!! Obviously it can’t be what comes to mind. But what a howler!

5. This is a legitimate sign 

To be fair though, small and women can still have big mouths!

6. It’s True

But regardless, I think most women would not approve of this message. 

7. Does this mean strippers are not welcome?

Who carries money in their undergarments. If I took my undergarments, I was my hands. And besides. You don’t know where that money has been!!!

8. Only in Italy. 

I like the fact that they have them handbags though. Surely that is government advertising for illegal trade though? 

9.  This message should have been given to Christian Grey. 

Wow that was a gross scene in Fifty Shades of Grey. I hope to God no woman fantasises about that. But anyway, the sign is a bit mean. 

10.  Am I getting mixed signals?

Okay so no lifeguards, dangerous alligators and yet the beach is open? I guess at least they can’t get sued if they put this up. 

11. I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!

Who you gonna call? The London Transport Police! 

12. Charming!

I guess you can argue you can never be too careful but they don’t sound the friendliest do they?

Illusion Number 2: Legs

I have a question for you. Please let me know what you think 

“Are these legs shiny and oily or are they legs with white paint on them?”

When I first saw this photo, I immediately thought that these were some oiled up legs. However, on closer inspection, I also the paint streaks and now that is the dominant thing I see. 

According to experts as ascertained by Mark Molloy from the Daily Telegraph, the explanation is similar to that of the black and blue dress. 

Daniel Hardiman-McCartney, a Clinical Adviser at the College of Optometrists explained to the Telegraph that “Metallic, wet or shiny surfaces reflect light in a unique way and our visual perceptual system has to spot clues in the reflected light in order to differentiate between shiny and matt, despite perhaps being the same apparent colour.”

“Vision scientists think that one of the important clues the brain uses to tell if a surface is wet or metallic is the skew of the spectral luminance; how much light is being reflected and where it is reflected from.”
“We use past experiences and our knowledge of objects to prejudice our interpretation of what we see, legs are more commonly wet and shiny, much less commonly covered in white paint,” Hardiman-McCartney added.

“In this case it may be the first time you have seen a pair of legs with white paint on them. The lack of focus on the skin, making the skin look like plastic and tight crop adds to the ambiguity. What room is the photo taken in?”
“There are markers and paints in the right of the image. The legs are matt without a diffuse specular reflection like you would expect if they were wet, so the white strip is not a highly skewed reflection of light, it is white paint, as the person who took the photo has confirmed.”

“Now try covering the pens and imagine the photograph is taken in a bathroom, do the legs now look wet?”

Credit: Mark Malloy of the Daily Telegraph. 

How dirty is your mind?

Do you think you have a mind that is a little too focused on sex? Well. Check out this photo. What do you see?

It’s a simple drawing made up of curved lines and a big pair of dots. But it’s been baffling many across the internet. 

Mainly, the befuddlement arrives because people are convinced the picture depicts an abstract drawing of a woman, her torso and hips, her sizeable pair of breasts. And to be fair, that’s what I initially saw too 🤔. 

Still, it’s not the only thing the visual can represent. At least at closer inspection or perhaps even straight away if you don’t have such a dirty mind!

Some people see two stick men fervently dancing. The curves are their legs and the dots are their heads. The image remains abstract, but has a far less raunchy meaning.

Apparently, scientists believe that the brain can see both images almost simultaneously but one depiction dominates based on the type of person you are or the experiences or thoughts you have. I knew seeing an Emmanuelle film when I was 12 would have long lasting psychological implications to me…

So not only can optical illusions wreak havoc with our eyes but they can apparently tell you things you never knew about yourself. This picture taught me that I like boobs. And Emmanuelle 7th Heaven taught me that virtual reality has the potential to be very deviant. Good luck VR Gamers!

Want to lick your cat? No, neither do I BUT…

In a world where random is never impossible or even improbable, we bring to you the latest mad cap invention: the Licki Brush. 

I mean, have you ever looked at your cat cleaning itself and thought, “hmm, you missed a bit buddy”?  Or maybe you feel that your cat only associates you with food and you want to create a “closer” bond? Or maybe you just really want to be a cat. Either way, this device is the perfect thing for you. 

Owing to their rough tongues and dexterity, cats have been doing a passable job of cleaning themselves since the dawn of time.  The Licki brush takes that concept and runs with it. It is essentially a tongue-shaped silicone pacifier, the owner / groomer simple bites onto the mouthpiece and pulls the “tongue” piece over the cat’s fur wherever required. The designers believe that it is “the natural thing a cat would want”. They like being licked and they like being pet after all?? Err, okay. 

The webpage has also encouraged owners to also invite friends over and have Licki parties. I presume they mean with the cats and not having some weird underground Max Moseley type thing but either way, I’m sure it’s not for me. 

What do you think? (And by the way, how weird is it you have a headline like that and above that, an advert for free Hannah Montana stickers???”

Stay classy Britain

In life, you get weird things. You get Bray Wyatt in the WWE. You get Piers Morgan being considered a celebrity. You even get Weird Al Yankovic. But none of that comes close to the weird crap you get on Craigslist

Today I was scrolling through the world of the weird and the wonderful when I came across an article which displayed 16 of the creepiest adverts on Craigslist. Oh boy!

The article which was in the Daily Mirror, an English newspaper provided adverts which included one from a 66 year old Indian man who was looking for a nice woman to room share with on a temporary basis (he offered to find her some more long term accommodation during her stay) and another which offered a free room for a woman “willing to carry out household chores naked or in sexy lingerie”. Obviously these offers are highly appealing…

For the complete list of the 16 creepiest adverts London has to offer on Craigslist, check out the full article HERE