The unluckiest man in Australia?

WARNING: the following story will not be appreciated by arachnophobes. 


So I heard this story today about a man who various media outlets are calling “the unluckiest man in Australia”. But why you ask? WELL….

The poor fellow in question is considered the unluckiest man in Australia because he was bitten on the penis by a venomous spider TWICE in the space of a year while using portable toilets. 

Jordan, 21, from Sydney, says he was first bitten on the genitals by a redback spider in April while working on a building site. The bite left a nasty red and painful mark on his genitalia and it, unsurpringly, put him off using portable toilets afterwards. 

Skip forward five months and Jordan decided to take a chance and use a portable toilet again choosing one of the EIGHT available cubicles to do his business on a completely different building site in Sydney. And guess what happened? He was bitten AGAIN in nearly exactly the same spot. Jordan claims that these toilets had a little crevice under the bowl that was hard to check and the little bugger was hiding there. As you can imagine, he checks his toilets thoroughly now.

But what are the chances of being big for a second time in a year on your man bits by a spider? Those odds must be astronomical and let’s not forget that this was the first time he’d used a portable toilet since the last incident. The guy was rushed to hospital where he received a tetanus short and anti-venom. Jordan mentioned in his interview that the staff there remembered him from his previous visit. That must sting! (Pun intended). And to make things worse, apparently the bite was worse and more painful this time around. If I were him, I’d never use a portable toilet ever again. 

Source: The Mirror

Wacky Signs 3: Wacked off

Here are some more of the latest and greatest signs. 

1. That sign bested me!

I don’t know which is worse, the fact that the Guinness costed €6 or that the waitresses were all dressed up! The cheek!

2. Good advice

Every person should heed this warning. If you are going to slip, then remember to fall down carefully. 

3. Above and beyond. 

What makes a good bar a great bar? Well now you know. 

4. That’s what she said. 

Ah muff. One of those words you pick up as a 10 year old never to be innocent again. 

5. George Michael was HERE

Oh wouldn’t it be nice, if I could touch your But hey, whatever floats your boat!

6. Jiggalos advertise too. 

I’m not even going to ask what cock light is but it’s good that they offer you a drink while you are at it. 

7. Here kitty!

I’ve heard the rumours! Where is he? Where is my Tiddles! 

8. Don’t streak on this golf course!

To be fair, you shouldn’t be swinging that club out and about on a golf course any way! Dirty perverts!

9. The key was in the name. 

Come on, how can you be surprised you got crabs with a name like that!? I hope your doctor helps you out. 

10. Quack quack!

LEAVE DONALD ALONE! There is one thing giving a duck bread but what sort of crazy people like here?????

Wacky Signs 2: Return of the Wack

Hey guys and girls,

I thought I’d give you another round of humorous signs since I know you lot enjoyed them and I enjoyed finding them too. So here is a new top 10. Starting at 1…

1. Crazy after club activities in China

Lets all go down to the impregnation room and get our jiggies on, man! Protection NOT optional. 

2. This masseuse does it all. 

Yeah, I hear this place is very hands on if you know what I mean. Good thing they have obscured glass windows. 

3. Nigel Farrage’s home town. 

It isn’t actually Nigel’s home town but you know, it’s the sort of mad British town name that makes you want to cover your face. 

4. Trump Hotels

Haha I couldn’t resist. We all know that no one has more respect for women than he does, honest. He wouldn’t even call Megyn Kelly a bimbo because it wasn’t “politically correct”. 

Note the following:

Yes, I know, I have a massive crush on Megyn Kelly blah blah blah but it still doesn’t change that Trump is a jerk and a mysogonist 

5. Let’s Dance

Lol! Someone must have had good fun making this sign! Who wants to swing their hips with me? (DANCING YOU PERVERTS!)

6. The Giving Man

That explains why women like men with loose tongues. Usually, that’s helped with a few alcoholic beverages. 

7. The Klan is now building parks?

I guess it can’t be much fun though with all the burning crosses and such. 

8. I love breakfast food. 

I wonder if they have cream or maple syrup. Both could be fun but I’d be worried you are more likely to attract bugs with the syrup. 

9. My lawn is making me paranoid. 

It’s smiling? Next it will be talking. I think someone needs therapy. 

10. Damn it!

And I thought any item that requires careful fitting is try before you buy?