Songs that are NOT subtle 

Firstly I want to start with an early warning that many of the videos I am going to show you include explicit lyrics. This is not suitable for any youngster and I would go as far as to say that no one under the age of 18 should really be listening to this music….

NOW, I want to start by saying that I am not a prude. But throughout my life, there have been times where I have been shocked by song lyrics. Some of these songs below are relatively harmless but when you put into context the age that I heard them, it literally blew my mind. Then again, I guess I was a pretty innocent kid growing up. 

So here are my picks for not so subtle songs from over the last couple of decades. 

Vengaboys – Boom Boom Boom Boom

Comment: Okay so this song isn’t shocking as such but rather is lacking in subtlety. For a 13/14 year old boy, hearing the lyrics “Boom boom boom boom! I want to go boom boom. Let’s spend the night together. Together in my room” was kind of a whaaaat? moment. 

Spice Girls – 2 Become 1

Comment: Hearing this song again really makes me chuckle. This song came out in 1996 which would have made me about 12 and I remember hearing this with my friends and thinking this was the most erotic song ever! “Oh my God they are singing about sex” we thought we were the enlightened ones. Man I had a massive crush on Baby Spice. 

Mousse T feat. Hot and Juicy – Horny

Comment: This is another blast from the past circa 1998. Again what’s funny about this is not that the song was explicit but the fact that the song was so blatant. What’s equally funny is that when I heard it, I had no idea what horny even meant! It’s kind of embarrassing looking back now as I sang out loud “I’m horny! I’m horny horny horny!”

The Divinyls – I touch myself

Comment: Oh my God, what a shock this song was to me. I heard it for the first time in the mid 90s and in a Chris Farley movie and I genuinely just thought the tune was funky without paying any attention to the lyrics. Eventually the VHS of the film I had broke and I couldn’t find a replacement. Then, a number of years later I found the DVD and watched it again excitedly. The song came on and I was really happy so I searched for it online to listen to it again when the lyrics struck me and I went bright red. Oh my God did I search for the music video fast! I hope some day some lady has the same feeling described in the lyrics for me ha ha!

Hot Action Cop: Fever for the Flava. 

Comment: embarrassingly I was over 18 and just really liked the tune when I first heard this. It wasn’t till I paid attention and listened to the lyrics did I fully grasp this song. And bloody hell! These lyrics are pretty explicit!!

“Do you think that I could get some (jiggy jiggy)…Maybe gets a little finga (sticky sticky)”

“What do I have to say to get inside girl, what do I have to say?”

Yep. Says it all. 

Peaches – F*ck the Pain Away

Comment: I heard this song for the first time at University and I was shocked what I was hearing. And I mean, while I had heard crude chatter before this, genuinely surprised me. I can’t say it was even sexy. It just seemed…wrong. 

Khia – My neck, my back (lick it)

Comment: Say what now? I don’t really know where to begin with this one. I heard it for the first time in a club and I had to do a double take. I also think she says she wants someone to lick her…crack? WHAT?

Lonely Island feat Akon – I just had sex

Comment: BAHAHAHAHAHA! This song is HILLARIOUS. I love Andy Samberg and this song cracks me up. Plus I’ve never seen Akon so happy. I guess he’s not Mr Lonely anymore. 

Top 5 most annoying pop songs of the last 16 years. 

Wow, there have been some great tunes over the last 16 years. Epic songs by Coldplay, Muse, Katy Perry and Ellie Goulding. Okay okay, I may not have the coolest taste in music but still, those songs have nothing on these five disasterpieces. 

5. “Lonely” by Akon

Secret admission here. I go to and fro from absolutely marking out to this tune to absolutely detesting it. Right now, I just laugh at the Chipmunk chorus BUT there was a time where I admittedly really liked it.  *Hangs head in shame*

4. “Beautiful” by James Blunt

Okay so I might actually be giving this song an unnecessarily hard time. The fact that when this song came out, I was trying to get over (very badly) this girl who I felt was the love of my life but who was seeing (and alas ended up marrying) this other guy. And I “had to face the truth” that I could never be with her. This song made me cry multiple times and now it just annoys me terribly. It still reminds me of her 13 years later. 

3. “It Doesn’t Matter” by Melky Sedeck, Wyclef Jean and The Rock

The Rock is awesome. Hell, the people’s champ is the reason I got back into wrestling in 2000 after a long absence because of the man’s sheer charisma, comedic timing and bad assery. And Wyclef Jean has also had his moments. But this song, if you can all it that, was awful. 

2.  “Axel F by Crazy Frog”

This abomination is the spawn of a bizarrely successful ringtone and I swear some mad scientist somewhere. The Beverly Hills Cop tune is tiresome enough on its own but add a crazy frog to it and you get – apparently – a multi week number one hit. 

1. THE WORST: “Beautiful Girls” by Sean Kingston

Oh my God, there are not enough words to describe how much I hate this song. Everything from the cheesy background music / rip off of Stand By Me to his voice. I loathe this tune. It makes me “Suicidal”. If you can stomach it, click below. 

What songs annoy you?