A tale of bums or butts and the bigger picture 

I know that I’m probably late coming on to this conversation but I decided to chip in anyway. I’m talking about this whole fake bum dealio. Now, before I get going. I want to say that I didn’t want to believe that people got implants for their butts. Obviously I’ve heard about boob jobs and I’ve even heard of guys getting calf implants but on your bum? Really?

I read this article on the VH1 website with Dr Douglas Steinbrech, a US-certified plastic surgeon who waded in on the whole real vs fake debate. 

Steinbrech said all the obvious things; “Look at the ratio between the waist and their backside. If it looks too good to be true, it’s probably not true.” Well! That pretty much puts to bed my theory about Nicki Minaj. 

But what exactly do they do??

“Implants are silicone implants – [it’s] not like a bag, it’s more like a gummy bear. It’s the same quality as muscle, but it feels like muscle gel which is really what people want. A nice contour for the glutes of their butt. That’s an option for patients that don’t have a lot of fat or patients who have a little fat but want to go further than with what they can do with fat injections. Fat injections are an amazing option because we can use your own body’s fat, and who doesn’t want that? I don’t throw away any fat. For the butt, I take all that fat from the love handles, the abs, that flat tire that women get underneath your belly button. If you just take that fat and pull it out and throw it away, when that patient goes back and has some calories — a cheeseburger at McDonald’s — the fatty acids have got to find existing liposites in your body. And that’s why it’s so important to have [them] moved to somewhere where you want them to be. Guess what? When you have a cheeseburger it’s just going to make your booty a little bit bigger.”  

Well I guess the good news for me is that if I wanted to, with my love handles, I could look like Kim Kardashian in next to no time. 

It’s a little bizarre though the lengths that some women and men will go to for “perfection”. Kim Kardashian is a naturally beautiful woman. She looks exotic, she has amazing hair and she is incredibly pretty. So what was the need? Steinbrech reckons it’s a “J-Lo thing”.  Another thing that struck me was that Steinbrech felt that it was in part down to the fact that men these days look at more than breasts. Well, that’s true I suppose but since when have women been obligated to look good for men. It just re-enforces my fear that we are living, more than ever, in a superficial society where looks and possessions mean everything. And look, it’s not that I’m saying that I don’t like nice things. But also, when I get something nice, it’s not to show other people. It’s for me. It’s not about me being cooler or more accepted and half the time people are doing things for social status or in the Kardashians’ case, to make more money and be famous. 

But it’s not just a girl thing anymore…

Men are feeling more and more pressured to look good and meet the ever increasing standards set for them by the media and by women in general. This is something that I distinctly experienced when I was online dating. The women that I met wanted everything, the entire package, and while I don’t object to anyone wanting the best for themselves, I also can admit that I can’t meet those standards on every level and that is quite depressing for me. 

These days I can’t help but feel that women want a man who is totally ripped. These men have to also be well endowed, successful, intelligent, funny etc etc. And Hollywood tells us that these guys are out there so why should they not? Ladies would argue that men do exactly the same thing! Chris Pratt weighed in with as much. 

“I think it’s appalling that for a long time only women were objectified, but I think if we really want to advocate for equality, it’s important to even things out. Not objectify women less, but objectify men just as often as we objectify women,” Pratt explains. “There are a lot of women who got careers out of it, and I’m using it to my advantage. And at the end of the day, our bodies are objects.”

Indeed Chris Pratt would be the first to admit that his career changed after he changed the way he looked. As for me? I’m not sure that I’m either comfortable with the fact that a) we have essentially degraded  people simply into objects rather than beings and b) being able to meet the lofty standards set these days. Again, women would argue that these sort of criterion are what they have had to live by for years and that’s definitely not right. The concerning thing is that rather than addressing this obvious issue, we are encouraging it on a wider scale. Hell, my worries over my looks and my weight (granted that these are the results of medical problems but that isn’t to say that women would judge me any different because of that) have made me think whether it would be better for me to just starve myself. Now how healthy is that?

I’m genuinely concerned that we as a society are going down a dangerous path and I for one cannot see myself ever finding any romantic fulfilment unless something drastically changes i.e. I lose 6 or 7 stone and become more successful or intelligent. And none of those things look like they are happening. Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself! But these things don’t sit well with me. 


Jonah Hill mocked on French TV

Jonah Hill recently appeared on French television program Le Grand Journal with the intention of promoting his latest movie War Dogs but things didn’t go quite according to plan…

Hill was being interviewed by the show’s host, French beauty Ornella Fleury when things began to take a turn for the worse. Fleury joked “It’s when I saw you get sodomized by a three-meter-tall demon in This Is the End that I told myself, ‘Now that’s the man of my dreams!'” And Hill didn’t find it one bit funny. Indeed, amidst the laughter, you can hear Hill retort “”I hear you get sodomized pretty often!”

Things only got worse from there as Fleury, undeterred by Hill’s response, proceeded to share with the audience her sexual fantasy involving Hill. Awesome right? Not for Hill. Fleury elaborated “My sexual fantasy would be that we’d meet up in a hotel room at night. We would chat, you’d make me laugh. You would make me laugh a lot! And then all of a sudden, you’d bring your friends DiCaprio and Brad Pitt — And then you’d go away!” Jonah Hill, visibly annoyed at this stage simply responded  “I’m glad I came to this show to get ridiculed by a local weather girl. It’s nice”. 

It has since been reported that Jonah Hill consequently cancelled all further interviews scheduled to promote his movie. Yikes!

For the FULL video of the exchange, watch the video below…