The Color of Night [Movie Review]

Hey there folks! I’m back and so are my photos. So I thought today and get right back into things with a new movie review. Today we are looking at the 1994 erotic mystery thriller Color of Night starring Bruce Willis and the delectable Jane March. So hang onto your draws folks. We are in for a ride!

Some Background:

As I mentioned above, the Color of Night stars Jane March and Bruce Willis (in what must be his most erotic movie ever made). It also stars Lance Henriksen (from Aliens and the hit TV show Millenium), Lesley Ann Warren (Clue) as well as Brad Dourif and Scott Bakula. It was directed by Richard Rush (who also directed 1980s hit Stunt Man). Despite the hype pre-release, Color of Night was a gigantic flop and has the honour of winning the Golden Raspberry Award for the worst film of the year at the 1994 awards ceremony. Much was made about the gratuitous nature of the sex scenes in this movie, which were quite a shock to many a Bruce Willis fan. That’s right, not only Jane March but Bruce Willis also had scenes of full frontal nudity. 

The infamous swimming pool scene that stunned fans of Bruce Willis

So why am I reviewing it? Well, despite it being a box office flop, Color of Night was one of the top twenty most rented films in 1995. It was also singled out by Maxim as having the best sex scene in the HISTORY of cinema. The scenes of a sexual nature were so intense that the lead actress Jane March has frequently stated she was not comfortable with them and had to be convinced by the director to film them.  There is also hearsay that Bruce Willis required a body double in one such scene, an underwater sex scene, because the director felt that Brucie’s member was “too small”. However, it should be noted that I have not been able to or wish to verify this fact but thank IMDb all the same for the trivia. 

I have two questions. 1) is she covering that area for a reason or 2) what is she expecting to hear down there?

The story:

So the next thing I should probably talk about is the story. Yes, believe it or not, there is a story. 

Dr. Bill Capa (Willis) is a New York City psychologist who falls into a deep depression after an unstable patient commits suicide in front of him by jumping from his office window. The sight of the bloody body of his patient clad in a bright green dress causes Capa to develoo psychosomatic color blindness, taking away his ability to see the color red.

To restart his life, Capa travels to Los Angeles to stay with a friend, fellow therapist and best-selling author Dr. Bob Moore (Bakula), who invites him to sit in on a group therapy session. But one night Moore is violently murdered in the office and Capa is plunged into the mystery of his friend’s death.
Moore would gather his patients every Monday for a discussion of their problems. The police consider them, and possibly Capa, as suspects in the murder. Capa continues to live in Moore’s house where he meets and begins an affair with Rose (March), a mysterious girl who enters his life. he also decides to take over Moore’s therapy group and learns of their pasts and obsessions as the murder investigation takes place. 

Bruce getting all romantic.

The Evaluation:

This movie is an intriguing one. For starters it’s not the world’s greatest film and neither does it shy away from the fact that while it is a mystery and a thriller, there is heavy emphasis on sex. Indeed, Jane March was hired for this role because of her willingness to do nude scenes in her previous work. Needless to say this came back to haunt her later in her career having only acted in 17 motion pictures since her role in this movie. Amazingly though, she is now only 43 years old which means she was 21 when she starred in this movie, while Bruce Willis was 39. Cradle Snatcher!  Indeed, the fact that she was young and beautiful was one of the chief marketing ploys for this movie, along with, of course, a number of female fans also having an interest due to Bruce Willis’s exposure. Literally. 

So he was literally old enough to be her Dad?

Surprisingly though, the movie does try hard to flex its muscles as a mystery too. Unfortunately, this often comes at a cost as early screenings came back lukewarm with a number of twists not really working as well as expected. In fact, there was such debate over how the movie flowed, the Producers and director were at odds with the producers creating their own cut of the movie against the wishes of the director. In fact, the stress got so much for the director that he suffered a heart attack. These days, it’s the director’s cut of the movie that survives with the producers’ cut considered an unmitigated disaster. 

The film does offer a strong supporting cast and did have potential. It just so happened that the film was somewhat poorly executed and one could argue just didn’t live up to it. Today, it’s the sex that people remember it for. If they remember it at all. Indeed, Bruce Willis himself rarely comments on the film stating that it just “didn’t work” when asked. Willis would have to admit that this film took place during a definitely lull in his career where other flops such as Hudson Hawk and Last Man Standing hurt his reputation greatly. Luckily for him, things took a turn for the better not long after with hits including Pulp Fiction, 12 Monkeys, Fifth Element and Die Hard with a Vengeance, at least until recently. 

Overall, this movie is a bit of a bust but yet it somehow deserves at least one watch to see how bad / cheesy it is. I watched it that one and only time because I used to be a big Willis fan. You can imagine how shocked I was! For it’s time, it was porn with a story. But these days, it’s probably about average considering what we churn out! 

I score this a C –


Severance (2006) [Movie Review]


Severance is a 2006 British-German comedy horror film co-written and directed by Christopher Smith. Co-written with James Moran, it stars Danny Dyer and Laura Harris. The film tells a story of group of co-workers who go to a remote mountain forest in Hungary, where they become victims of murderous attacks.


The European Sales division of Palisade Defence military arms corporation are on a bus to a team-building weekend at a “luxury lodge” in the Mátra Mountains of Hungary. When a fallen tree blocking the road halts the bus’s progress, the driver refuses to take a dirt road through the woods and, after an argument, drives off leaving the group to walk the remaining distance to the lodge.

Eventually the group reaches the lodge, which is old and in serious disrepair, but the manager Richard convinces the wary but tired group to enter. Inside, Harris discovers a file cabinet full of cryptic Palisade documents, written in Russian. 

The first tell tale sign that all isn’t right is when one of the employees serves the group a meat pie that he found in the kitchen while they discuss these cryptic documents, only for one of them to find a human tooth in their slice. Later, when they head off to bed, one of the group, Jill, spots someone staring into the lodge. The group go outside to look for the voyeur but nobody is found and the group agree to leave the lodge the next day barring Richard. However, the next day when some of the team make their way to find the bus driver to take them home…things take a grizzly turn for the worst. 


The film currently holds an approval rating of 65% on the film critic site Rotten Tomatoes and was lauded by Rolling Stone magazine for its “mischievous blending [of] The Office with Friday the 13th”. 

As for my opinion, well, the film works well in a number of ways. The director, who is previously know for the Brit Horror Creep moved from the black horror of his previous title to something a little more humorous and it paid off, even if you aren’t a great Danny Dyer fan (which I’m not). Yes, at the heart of it, it is a slasher but it is also reasonably intelligent with a good fast paced dialogue and some genuinely funny moments. 

For those who are squeamish, then it may not be the film. The death scenes are quite gruesome so it isn’t for the faint hearted in that regard. And while it isn’t quite Shaun of the Dead funny, Severance is another example of horror movies mixing gruesomeness with some more light hearted moments that makes the film little more than a cold slaughterfest that you come to expect with most modern day films. 

Overall Rating = B-

See the full trailer here:

The Cottage (2008) [Movie Review]


The Cottage is a 2008 British darkly comic horror film, written and directed by Paul Andrew Williams. It stars Andy Serkis (Lord of the Rings), Reece Shearsmith (Shaun of the Dead) and Jennifer Ellison (Phantom of the Opera). 

The Plot:

Two brothers, David and Peter (Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith), kidnap Tracey (Jennifer Ellison), the stepdaughter of Arnie, an underworld crime boss. 

The pair hold her for ransom in a secluded country cottage. Things begin to go wrong when Arnie’s dimwitted son and stepbrother of Tracey, Andrew delivers the ransom. Instead of money, the bag is filled with napkins. David and Peter realize that not only have they been deceived, but Arnie knew about Andrew’s involvement in the scheme all along.

After Peter breaks David’s phone by accidentally dropping it in water, David goes down to the village to use a telephone box to call in another ransom. While there, he happens across some sinister locals who, upon learning that he and his companions are staying at the Barnarby Cottage, warn him to keep his doors locked and not to wander. Disturbed, David returns to the cottage to find that Tracey — who has proven to be highly intelligent and resourceful, albeit foul-mouthed and somewhat psychopathic — has incapacitated Andrew and abducted Peter.
Some distance away, Peter and Tracey arrive at an ominous looking farm. Upon entering the house, they soon discover it to be the home of an insane and hideously deformed serial-killer known only as the Farmer.

You might be interested to know that The Cottage received positive reviews, garnering a 71% certified “fresh” result on Rotten Tomatoes. As for my opinion, I have to say that I was actually rather pleasantly surprised. 

As far as British movies go, and specifically British horror movies go, they are more often than not average films filled to the brim with vulgar language and not much else. Though obviously, it isn’t the most surprising scenario (a horror movie scenario) to hear colourful language. As you know, it’s tense, frightening and high adrenaline. But the Cottage is far more than that. It’s actually very watchable. 

The movie sets the scene really well. You really get the feel of a traditional British backwater and the acting is pretty good, though I’ve always been a fan of Andy Serkis. Jennifer Ellison is truly irritating (in a good way) and in that regard, you find it quite easy to sympathise with the two brothers. She’s quite the pitbull, even if she is beautiful. But you do find yourself caring about the characters and in particular the dysfunctional relationship that the two brothers have. 

As a comedy, it actually works really well with some laughs throughout the movie. And as for a gore movie, it also provides the wince-inducing moments that you would also expect. Some quite inventive too. 

Overall, it is a decent movie that is worth a watch, especially if you like comedy horrors like Severance. 

Overall score – B. 

Watch the Trailer below:

Jonah Hill mocked on French TV

Jonah Hill recently appeared on French television program Le Grand Journal with the intention of promoting his latest movie War Dogs but things didn’t go quite according to plan…

Hill was being interviewed by the show’s host, French beauty Ornella Fleury when things began to take a turn for the worse. Fleury joked “It’s when I saw you get sodomized by a three-meter-tall demon in This Is the End that I told myself, ‘Now that’s the man of my dreams!'” And Hill didn’t find it one bit funny. Indeed, amidst the laughter, you can hear Hill retort “”I hear you get sodomized pretty often!”

Things only got worse from there as Fleury, undeterred by Hill’s response, proceeded to share with the audience her sexual fantasy involving Hill. Awesome right? Not for Hill. Fleury elaborated “My sexual fantasy would be that we’d meet up in a hotel room at night. We would chat, you’d make me laugh. You would make me laugh a lot! And then all of a sudden, you’d bring your friends DiCaprio and Brad Pitt — And then you’d go away!” Jonah Hill, visibly annoyed at this stage simply responded  “I’m glad I came to this show to get ridiculed by a local weather girl. It’s nice”. 

It has since been reported that Jonah Hill consequently cancelled all further interviews scheduled to promote his movie. Yikes!

For the FULL video of the exchange, watch the video below…