What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her

I had a flashback today to my university years and a conversation that I had with one of my housemates at the time. I don’t remember the exact time of the year but the days were definitely getting shorter. It was a pretty eventful time really. We were preparing for examinations (Three of us were anyway) and there was a lot of “personal turmoil” going on. I was becoming more and more of a recluse at the time, a knock on effect from the unhappiness I was experiencing as a girl who I very much cared for had began getting serious with another man. I suppose it didn’t help that I and another housemate were both very single and for a very long time while our two other housemates were in relationships. One of them, a very nice guy was spending a lot of time with his girlfriend (now wife) while the other was seeing a girl himself. This guy – he was always a bit strange. He liked to think of himself as quite edgy and cool; he listened to rock music and liked to wear lots of leather and latex. A poser basically. But anyway. He was dating this girl called Fiona (not her real name) who from all accounts was a really nice girl. 

Apparently, he had made his mind up that she was the girl he wanted and he relentlessly pursued her till she gave in. They also had a threesome on my friends mattress with some other random girl (it was early in their relationship and he, well, he lifted my friend’s mattress out of his bedroom, took it into the lounge and did it there – why they couldn’t use his own bed I will never know..). It was a strange deal though. As I understand it, she was quite impressionable and he had convinced her to do this threesome deal but afterwards should had reservations he wanted something serious which he told her he did so the officially became exclusive. 

So they were dating. And after the end of the first semester, we all went back home to our families. Apparently over the holidays, Mr Poser had put an advert out over the internet that he was looking for models and had even visited them at their homes. I thought it was suspect at the time but as I was not around – I gave him the benefit of the doubt. After the holidays, we get back and go back to our regular studies. One night, one of my other housemates and I come back to our house and no one seems to be home. So we head upstairs and unpack and just chill following the long day. Suddenly Poser’s door opens and out he comes with his shirt off and a woman we haven’t seen before. She says hello and seems okay but leaves quite quickly and he comes upstairs to say hey. 


He tells us her name was “Elmo”.  I’m not joking. Elmo. He tells all about how he met her at his college and how she seems really cool. Apparently she has a boyfriend but he happily shared with us that he had sex with her. 
“Yeah, I can’t see it becoming anything” he exclaimed. “She’s fun but she’s got a really crap taste in music. Her sister is quite hot though”. Intrigued, I apologise saying that I hadn’t realised that he had broken up with Fiona. He hadn’t. He said that it is what it is and that he wasn’t going to say no when the opportunity came about. We had a long chat (all three of us, including my other housemate) about the situation. While we both disagreed, he argued that the issue with cheating has nothing to do with morality. “Sex  is sex” he would say. And it didn’t have to be coupled with any feeling. He believed (and on all accounts still believes) that cheating is only bad if it hurts somebodies feelings. And as he and the girl he just slept with will never tell Fiona, she would never get hurt. So it’s fine. After all, in his mind, he would still be the same considerate and doting boyfriend. They will still do stuff together. He will still be there for her. He just does that in addition to sleeping with other people. 

As someone who values fidelity, I struggled with this logic. I asked him if he would be okay if the roles were reversed. How would HE feel if FIONA was sleeping with other guys all the time while she was telling him she loved him. He said he’d be fine with it himself. And anyway, if he didn’t know about it, and it didn’t affect their relationship, so what? I couldn’t help but find flaws in his argument. 

Now, I have always been quite a dedicated/loyal sort of guy. I had my first real little crush when I was 9/10 and then another small crush at 10/11 before really liking someone aged 11/12. This girl I really liked and for the entire time I liked her, I couldn’t look at another girl. In fact, when I was 13, there was a girl in my class who had a crush on me and she got her friend to ask me out. I gallantly replied “I’m sorry but I’m in love with someone else”. I carried on having this crush well until I was 16 where I decided that I should try broadening my horizons and proceeded to fancy a lot of people each day. I think at that point I just wanted a girlfriend. Then when I was 18 and went to uni, I fell in love and that time, I was really messed up. I literally couldn’t look at another woman for years and when I tried, the memory of her came back, even despite friends trying to set me up. So yeah, I’ve always found it hard to be invested in someone and look at someone else. I guess part of that is that my parents have been happily married for years and I have always strived to have the same. He on the other hand, had his parents break up when he was young though his Dad married again and had a settled family so I don’t know if they had anything to do with it. For me, it has always been straightforward though. If you love someone, you do everything you can to make them happy AND you don’t do anything that can hurt them. And whether or whether not she knows about it, if your actions could or maybe I should say would hurt them, then it’s not right. Being with other people is not being devoted. Perhaps that’s why marriages fail so often because people don’t know what they are getting into?

Regardless, if you are not devoted to someone, you shouldn’t be married to them. Which is why to this day I am shocked they ended up getting married. I know he cheated on her countless times and I know she has no idea. Funnily enough, given that he knew I struggled with my conscience, he did his best to limit her and I getting to know one another until we finished uni and then we’d talk on what was the old MSN messenger. And I then did get to know her. Which then made it all the harder knowing what he was getting up to when he asked me to be his best man. He said that he really wanted me to do the honour. When he asked, I thought about it but I eventually declined. I never told him directly why but there could have been no way that I could have ever supported the wedding. Not long after I declined his offer, I began to distance myself from him and not long after, I stopped speaking with him all together. 


As I understand it, they are still together now. So perhaps he was right. But regardless, I will never be that person.

Shock and Awww

The following article was really well put together and highlighted what is and/or what isn’t shocking these days. It really puts forward some really good points.

I always try to think the best of people but a lot of what happens never really truly shocks me, especially since what happened at 9/11. But as I have grown up, I’ve seen and heard of many things that perhaps at the time may surprise you but as you become worldly, they tend to stop surprising you. I’m not sure if that is sad or just the way of the world. Perhaps it’s just over exposure to the world.

Check out this great article. I hope you enjoy.

yadadarcyyada

1ashock2

“Somewhere,
something
incredible
is waiting
to be known.”
~Carl Sagan

People use the word ‘shock’ a lot. The news keeps telling us how shocked we should be. Politicians are always shocked. Most things they use the word shock for, are not, in fact, shocking.

1ashock23

Shockingly, we’re still cavepeople. We just happen to be living in a modern world. The modern trend is toward being positive, but there is a reason humans tend to be negative. It kept us alive. It was important to caution your family, friends, even strangers about: the wolves in the forest, the cliff behind the bush, the saber tooth tiger about to jump on their head, the rabid bats in the cave, the poison berries, and so on. We spoke of, then later, wrote about negative things not always to dwell on them, but to often to help others, protect others. And sometimes, other times, it’s…

View original post 478 more words

Shark Week: Jaws 2

Hey all!

I was going to write another movie review when I saw this really great review already written by this fantastic blogger. If you get a moment, you should definitely check out their work.

Jaws 2 being the swift follow up from the masterpiece that is Jaws was always going to garner attention and you can be sure that the reviewers of this flick probably hand their red felt pens at the ready from the moment the opening credits came in.

I do concur with this blogger that Jaws 2 doesn’t live up to the original but then again, it would ALWAYS have been difficult. The original tapped into something that just struck a nerve with the viewing public and did something unique for the time. It also had a fantastic cast and a soundtrack so utterly fitting that it stuck in people’s minds. Of course, there were many similarities between the second and the original but it had all been done before so the novelty aspect was no more. To me though, that didn’t make the film a bad movie.

Interestingly, the film centred somewhat on Brady’s kids but the movie refrained from going down the smutty route that so many current Shark movies do. The movie does have a number of tense moments which are great if not a little unbelievable at times…helicopter anyone? Brody is also a very likeable character as are some of the kids although I kinda wanted the shark to get one girl who looked Carrie-esque every time she screamed.

Overall I would give Jaws 9.5/10 but Jaws 2…maybe as much as a 7. It certainly is a lot better than Jaws 3 and 4. Happy reading!

Late to the Theater

October is Horror Movie month, where we let down our hair and celebrate all things macabre and scary! Not that we don’t during the rest of the year, but still… HORROR MOVIES! People who don’t like horror are encouraged to check back November 1st for less bloody and/or disturbing films. For everyone else, let’s put on our galoshes and WADE INTO THE MIRE!

Hello and welcome to Shark Week here at Late to the Theater! This week’s selections are inspired by a dear friend who used to refer to her special lady time as ‘Shark Week.’ We shared many a laugh over that clever nomenclature over the last year or so. Three weeks ago she underwent a hysterectomy and will never again experience a Shark Week, so this week’s entries are dedicated to her! Let’s put on our floaties, paddle out just a little too far, make a ruckus in the…

View original post 1,376 more words

Amazing “alien claw” found with mummified skull in mystery tunnels deep below the Peruvian desert

The Institute Inkari-Cusco, a group of “paranormal enthusiasts”, have claimed to have discovered an “alien claw” as well as a skull close to each other in underground Peru.

 

The claims have not yet to be verified, but the researchers said they found the bones while searching caves and tunnels across Cusco in January 2016.


French researcher and explorer, Thierry Jamin, released the findings on his Facebook page on November 27.

He said, researcher Dr Edson Salazar Vivanco used x-rays and concluded that the “mummified hand” was 33 cm long, has three fingers, metallic implants.

“According to some estimates of physicians, archaeologists and anthropologists, this hand belonged to an individual whose size was maybe between 2.7m to 3m tall,” Dr Vivanco said, according to a Peruvian blog. Dr Vivanco further claimed the “claw” and “skull” were genuine biological objects with real bone and skin tissues and further testing was underway.

The researchers will conduct further radiocarbon and DNA testing of the mysterious specimens in the US in early in 2017.

What do you think? Is the truth out there?

Source: Yahoo

Inside the World’s Largest Rainforest – The Amazon

Check out this fantastic blog post by someone who got to experience the beautiful Amazon rainforest. I have to admit I am beyond jealous that they got to go. The Amazon is so full of exotic animals and plants. It’s so unique and must be preserved. I just hope I never come across a bird eating spider.

Indeed a former partner of mine was Brazilian. She had a terrible fear of spiders. This is because when she was growing up, she had one of those giant bird eating spiders in her bedroom. It would give me NIGHTMARES FOREVER!!!!

Miranda Chang's Blog

The Amazon is the largest rainforest in the world. It stretches across 2.1 million square miles, equating to 70% of the lower 48 states’ area. The forest spans across nine countries: Brazil, Peru, Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador, Bolivia, Guyana, Suriname, and French Guiana.

View original post 1,063 more words

Thanks for the Orgy Shirt

eqrnqp_krbojbflqcizalq

 You know what Mums are like; they live th spoil their kids. And when they have a girl, Mum’s enjoy that special gift of being able to indulge in buying clothes.  This continues no matter how old their child is. 

One mum decided to buy a nice t-shirt for her 18-year-old daughter, Katie.

It was even a designer one  too – Vivienne Westwood in fact – I know right, so fancy but pretty trendy at the same time – with a lovely gold pattern (I am definitely heterosexual! Honest!) 
But what Mum hadn’t noticed was that the pattern was actually depicting a huge orgy. 


Yep, it’s A LOT of people bumping uglies in the name of fashion. 

As you can see from the tweet above, it actually caused a bit of a stir online being retweeted over 3000 times and liked nearly 6000 times. 

One thing that caught people’s attention (if you look carefully at the top picture) is that one of the depictions is in fact a dog. What a dog is doing there is anyone’s guess. But I think that Vivienne Westwood’s design here is rather questionable. 

Apparently her Mum has found it hilarious. 


For those interested in this bizarre shirt, apparently it is actually made for men and has a retail value of just less than £50. So, if you so desire, go buy yourself a kinky shirt. 

I love BOOBIES!

I wanted to share with you something which I do not make a habit of saying out loud. Sure, there are those who say it proudly while some others are more embarrassed to admit it publicly. Some of their fans are male. Some are female. But let’s be completely honest. BOOBIES are great!

Am I right?

Am I right?

A booby is a type of seabird in the genus Sula, part of the Sulidae family. Boobies are closely related to the gannets (Morus), which were formerly included in Sula.

This is a blue footed booby

Boobies hunt fish by diving from a height into the sea and pursuing their prey underwater. Facial air sacs under their skin cushion the impact with the water. Boobies are colonial breeders on islands and coasts. They normally lay one or more chalky-blue eggs on the ground or sometimes in a tree nest.

Their name was possibly based on the Spanish slang term bobo, meaning “stupid”, as these tame birds had a habit of landing on board sailing ships, where they were easily captured and eaten. Owing to this, boobies are often mentioned as having been caught and eaten by shipwrecked sailors. Poor birds!

They are also incredibly cute!

This looks like me and a friend on the sauce.


Here are some photos of other type of booby. 

A masked booby

A brown booby

A red-footed booby

 

Oh and by the way, if you thought from the title I was referring to breasts, then SHAME on YOU!

SHAME ON YOU!


Body Positivity – Love the Skin You’re In! 😍

This is a fantastic post that I think people should take the time to read. Again, it’s important to love the skin you are in. You are who you are and you shouldn’t be ashamed of you. Well, unless you are a murderer or a criminal of some kind. You know what I mean….

Be My Stylist

love-the-skin-youre-inBy Beth ~ Contributing Blogger

Hello Stylists,

In this day and age individuals as young as 7 feel the need to look and act a certain way to fit the mould set by others…YOU SHOULDN’T!!! Only you can be you, so don’t be somebody else! As cliche as it sounds,

“Happiness comes from within.”

All of us, including myself, need to learn that: being, “different” isn’t a bad thing, it’s a good thing! Let’s face it, if we were all the same life would be pretty boring!!


mresreadera-2


A survey carried out of more than 1,600 girls between the ages of 7 and 21  found that almost one in six (15%) of 7 to 10 year old’s felt embarrassed or ashamed of how they look.

This is shocking to say the least! I remember when I was 7, I was out playing without a care in…

View original post 316 more words

Exploring the truth: can a fat person be sexy?

I’ve gone over similar topics to this before but a website I came upon gave me the desire to bring it to the front once more. Why? Well, it’s probably because I’m a fat guy with confidence issues. It’s cool though, I’m working on that. 


Anyway, the website I came across is called “GirlsAskGuys”. You may have heard of it. It’s also available as an app and basically the name of the game is to ask people of the opposite sex questions that are on your mind. In theory, it’s actually quite an amusing idea. 

That being said, I came across a question which asked girls whether fat guys who have confidence can be attractive. INTERESTING! I literally couldn’t help myself. I mean, if you were to ask a bunch of internet men the same questions about girls, you wouldn’t be surprised to get responses like “I’d shag her but probably not date her” or “I don’t do fat chicks”. You know, pretty Neanderthal-like behaviour. But girls are meant to be fairer sex right? 

For me, it’s interesting because, most of my life, whenever I have approached a woman I’m attracted to, I get told the same thing. “David, I think you are a really great guy but you are just not my “type”. Ok. And the first couple of times you take it on the chin. You accept that it might be just that she doesn’t think you would match each other well. But there is always part of you that thinks it’s because you are fat. Hell, one time on Match.com, I was told that she’d be more interested if I lost a lot of weight. And like I’ve said hundreds of times before, I accept that it would be wrong to date someone you aren’t attracted to. BUT, then again, it would be impossible for me to count the number of girls who have said to me that looks do not matter. It’s personality. This has always left me sceptical. And hey, it’s been fairly well accepted that while a high percentage of men are superficial, women, well, you gals like to tell us men that you aren’t. So are us men and women that different?

Here are some of the answers that girls gave as to whether they could find a confident fat man attractive….

“My cousin’s like that, he has no self-confidence or self-esteem issues, and an awesome personality to boot  He makes a lot of friends, but when it comes to a girlfriend things get to be more challenging. He’s working on being healthier and losing weight though, and not because he doesn’t like himself, but because he wants to improve himself. I think that’s great, and important too. It also depends on what kind of girl you’re looking for. If it matters to you that you’re with a girl that’s fit, then it’s only realistic to be fit yourself. 

As for me, I know I have to be attracted to someone to be in a relationship with them, and I find fit and healthy to be attractive. However, I think I place more importance on personality than appearance. So, I may not be attracted to an overweight guy on sight, but perhaps I would be once I got to know him. Confidence will certainly help, but there’s so much more to attraction than just looks and confidence. For instance, I’ve found good-looking guys to be unattractive before, and usually because I can’t stand arrogance. Anyway, in the end it really depends on the guy.”

“I find myself strangely attracted to confident, overweight guys. I don’t know my big thing with any guy, regardless of size is confidence, but overweight guys win my vote fo sho! Of course, I would never want a guy to exploit this attraction I have as an excuse to completely disregard all aspects of a healthy lifestyle, haha. Life is beautiful~the least we can do is show respect to our bodies by eating great for the most part and some form of exercise. I guy I’m talking to describes himself as doughy, whatever that means. But if that’s anything like what I see in my head then I say yum yum  The kicker is, he’s happy with himself and that’s the most attractive part~ Confidence ftw!”

“No fat guys”

“It depends how fat. If a guy is slightly chubby then I’m down with it but for me fat is not attractive. Also, being overweight gives me the impression that you’re lazy and don’t don’t particularly care about your appearance. Though, if he has some sort of health problem that makes him overweight and he can’t control it then that’s a different issue. I know I’m going to get downs for this but I can’t force myself to be attracted to people who I’m not.”

“Confidence goes a long way and if I like the guy weight would not matter as long as he is still active. I have been overweight at one time myself, so I have learned not to be as shallow and judgmental as some when it comes to appearance.”

“Attractive! As long as he can move around, then I have no problem with it.”

“Unattractive. There is NO excuse for being overweight, being overweight is unattractive, it shows the person does NOT care about themselves, their appearance or their health and being overweight is a choice.

Confidence does not fix ugly or obesity.”
“No excuse-True

UN-attractive-True

Do not care about themselves-True

It’s a choice-True

They’re so lazy as to not get fit that they DESPERATELY want fat to be considered attractive?”

“honestly I don’t care what a guy looks like its the personilty that matters to me because I get the same thing done to me, most guys don’t like me because I’m cubby and usually the same personality goes with girls on how they don’t like heavy guys which I find is really annoying, because most of the heavy guys are really sweet :]”

“Nope. Fat just isn’t attractive. If a fat guy has confidence, he should have the confidence to get in shape!”

“I couldn’t do it … But I know woman that love men with extra love !”

“If he’s a good guy. Someone who can make me feel comfortable. Why not?”

“It’s not my thing because I try really hard to stay thin. But some girls would be fine with it.”

“Im sorry. Fat people are unattractive, even chubby guys are not attractive. They let themselves go. It’s just stupid. “I eat because I’m deppressed.” Oh get a f***in life.”

“i wouldn’t date someone fat”

“It just depends how big you are if your just overweight cofidence can overshadow up to bout 40lbs but if you are obese I would work to lose weight not just for girls but so you can live longer and happier.”

For those interested, the website GirlsAskGuys is available @ http://girlsaskguys.com

As for what I think…well. I definitely think there is an argument out of there that women are as shallow as their male counterparts. But that being said, there was a fair mix of opinions out there. As for those who think that fat people are lazy, I actually lost 100lbs before regaining it all because of medication.  That’s life and it’s very sad that your world is so black and white. 

But hey, it wouldn’t pay for us all to be the same. Would it?