Exploring the truth: can a fat person be sexy?

I’ve gone over similar topics to this before but a website I came upon gave me the desire to bring it to the front once more. Why? Well, it’s probably because I’m a fat guy with confidence issues. It’s cool though, I’m working on that. 

Anyway, the website I came across is called “GirlsAskGuys”. You may have heard of it. It’s also available as an app and basically the name of the game is to ask people of the opposite sex questions that are on your mind. In theory, it’s actually quite an amusing idea. 

That being said, I came across a question which asked girls whether fat guys who have confidence can be attractive. INTERESTING! I literally couldn’t help myself. I mean, if you were to ask a bunch of internet men the same questions about girls, you wouldn’t be surprised to get responses like “I’d shag her but probably not date her” or “I don’t do fat chicks”. You know, pretty Neanderthal-like behaviour. But girls are meant to be fairer sex right? 

For me, it’s interesting because, most of my life, whenever I have approached a woman I’m attracted to, I get told the same thing. “David, I think you are a really great guy but you are just not my “type”. Ok. And the first couple of times you take it on the chin. You accept that it might be just that she doesn’t think you would match each other well. But there is always part of you that thinks it’s because you are fat. Hell, one time on Match.com, I was told that she’d be more interested if I lost a lot of weight. And like I’ve said hundreds of times before, I accept that it would be wrong to date someone you aren’t attracted to. BUT, then again, it would be impossible for me to count the number of girls who have said to me that looks do not matter. It’s personality. This has always left me sceptical. And hey, it’s been fairly well accepted that while a high percentage of men are superficial, women, well, you gals like to tell us men that you aren’t. So are us men and women that different?

Here are some of the answers that girls gave as to whether they could find a confident fat man attractive….

“My cousin’s like that, he has no self-confidence or self-esteem issues, and an awesome personality to boot  He makes a lot of friends, but when it comes to a girlfriend things get to be more challenging. He’s working on being healthier and losing weight though, and not because he doesn’t like himself, but because he wants to improve himself. I think that’s great, and important too. It also depends on what kind of girl you’re looking for. If it matters to you that you’re with a girl that’s fit, then it’s only realistic to be fit yourself. 

As for me, I know I have to be attracted to someone to be in a relationship with them, and I find fit and healthy to be attractive. However, I think I place more importance on personality than appearance. So, I may not be attracted to an overweight guy on sight, but perhaps I would be once I got to know him. Confidence will certainly help, but there’s so much more to attraction than just looks and confidence. For instance, I’ve found good-looking guys to be unattractive before, and usually because I can’t stand arrogance. Anyway, in the end it really depends on the guy.”

“I find myself strangely attracted to confident, overweight guys. I don’t know my big thing with any guy, regardless of size is confidence, but overweight guys win my vote fo sho! Of course, I would never want a guy to exploit this attraction I have as an excuse to completely disregard all aspects of a healthy lifestyle, haha. Life is beautiful~the least we can do is show respect to our bodies by eating great for the most part and some form of exercise. I guy I’m talking to describes himself as doughy, whatever that means. But if that’s anything like what I see in my head then I say yum yum  The kicker is, he’s happy with himself and that’s the most attractive part~ Confidence ftw!”

“No fat guys”

“It depends how fat. If a guy is slightly chubby then I’m down with it but for me fat is not attractive. Also, being overweight gives me the impression that you’re lazy and don’t don’t particularly care about your appearance. Though, if he has some sort of health problem that makes him overweight and he can’t control it then that’s a different issue. I know I’m going to get downs for this but I can’t force myself to be attracted to people who I’m not.”

“Confidence goes a long way and if I like the guy weight would not matter as long as he is still active. I have been overweight at one time myself, so I have learned not to be as shallow and judgmental as some when it comes to appearance.”

“Attractive! As long as he can move around, then I have no problem with it.”

“Unattractive. There is NO excuse for being overweight, being overweight is unattractive, it shows the person does NOT care about themselves, their appearance or their health and being overweight is a choice.

Confidence does not fix ugly or obesity.”
“No excuse-True

UN-attractive-True

Do not care about themselves-True

It’s a choice-True

They’re so lazy as to not get fit that they DESPERATELY want fat to be considered attractive?”

“honestly I don’t care what a guy looks like its the personilty that matters to me because I get the same thing done to me, most guys don’t like me because I’m cubby and usually the same personality goes with girls on how they don’t like heavy guys which I find is really annoying, because most of the heavy guys are really sweet :]”

“Nope. Fat just isn’t attractive. If a fat guy has confidence, he should have the confidence to get in shape!”

“I couldn’t do it … But I know woman that love men with extra love !”

“If he’s a good guy. Someone who can make me feel comfortable. Why not?”

“It’s not my thing because I try really hard to stay thin. But some girls would be fine with it.”

“Im sorry. Fat people are unattractive, even chubby guys are not attractive. They let themselves go. It’s just stupid. “I eat because I’m deppressed.” Oh get a f***in life.”

“i wouldn’t date someone fat”

“It just depends how big you are if your just overweight cofidence can overshadow up to bout 40lbs but if you are obese I would work to lose weight not just for girls but so you can live longer and happier.”

For those interested, the website GirlsAskGuys is available @ http://girlsaskguys.com

As for what I think…well. I definitely think there is an argument out of there that women are as shallow as their male counterparts. But that being said, there was a fair mix of opinions out there. As for those who think that fat people are lazy, I actually lost 100lbs before regaining it all because of medication.  That’s life and it’s very sad that your world is so black and white. 

But hey, it wouldn’t pay for us all to be the same. Would it?