Okay, so I know this is a rather random question but I’m going to ask it anyway. And here’s why.
Like most of you, I have a rather limited amount of free time. I work 5 days a week and then I have my OCD which takes up numerous additional moments of washing hands, wiping objects down etc. It’s a bit of a pain but it certainly adds to my time because rather than finishing work, grabbing a bite to eat and chilling in my room, I’m usually wiping my work stuff down, eating, preparing for a shower, showering and then manoeuvring myself into my room. This whole process from finishing work to making it to my room usually takes about three and a half hours so I usually get to my room at 8.30-9pm. I should add that from that point, I’m locked in. There’s no getting drinks or going to the bathroom. That would involve potentially getting dirty again. It doesn’t help that I have an autistic brother who pees on the floor and over the toilet seat in the bathroom and who generally doesn’t wash his hands so I kind of feel grossed out about touching anything that isn’t mine or that isn’t in my room. It really bums me out to be completely honest. You’d probably ask “why don’t you get your own place?” And that’s a good question. Basically, I am currently going through some health issues and for my safety, it makes little sense to be out by myself although at times I really crave it. I think I need a wife who can keep an eye on me!!!!
But anyway, when I get to my room, I’m usually exhausted and I have to try and fit in as much as possible in a short time frame. I try and do as much as I can to say midnight but I often feel guilty for staying up that late.
In my room, I generally do three things: 1) mess around online; 2) play a video game and 3) watch TV. It’s not the most exciting life in the world but it’s the world I live in at the moment.
I do like spending time online. Truth be told, the majority of people whom I studied and lived with at uni live far away from me and it’s impractical to hang with them and I never did have a good relationship with people from school. So my online time is kind of my social life and it actually is what often prevents me from being completely alone. There aren’t many OCD anonymous clubs going around anyway lol. What I’m trying to put across though is that my need for some form of social life means that I do often spend most of my free time on here or texting people. Basically, I eat up most of my free time.
I really don’t know what to do. Should I spend less time here? Would it be good to make myself any less social? Probably not. And since my ventures outside usually involve family, I’m not really in the business of making new friends either. It’s pretty lonely.
BUT, using up that time socialising also means I don’t really do anything else. I actually don’t think I have the ability to concentrate on two things anymore like watch TV and socialise at the same time. If I’m on here, I’m not paying attention to the TV. It’s just not happening.
How do you all balance your time? Let me know! And if you have any tips or advice, they would be pretty awesome too. I’d love to hear from you.