Men and Penis Envy

I recently saw this interesting article in a publication called Psychology Tomorrow which publishes interesting articles on a variety of topics. 

Today, I saw an article which tackled th subject of Penis Envy and how size effects a man’s self esteem. The article itself is somewhat of an extension of an article in Psychology Today that was retracted in 2012 on penis envy. 

It stated:

“The center of a man’s existence is his penis. At the root of his self-worth is how he feels about the size of his penis and what he thinks about its ability to please his partners.”

The statement is actually quite an interesting one. Indeed, a man’s relationship with his penis is a complicated one. There is the idea that a man with a “big dick” has a sense of entitlement. It brings into play this idea of a man having “big balls” and having the ability to power through anything purely because of his manhood. Then, you have this idea of the guy with the small dick being this irritating little twerp who goes through life bullying his co-workers and who acts like somewhat of a know-it-all. Even in the current Presidential Elections, you’ll see people say that Donald Trump has a small penis and that makes him less of a man. I don’t like Donald Trump at all but that sort of comment is below the belt (haha, sorry!)

There isn’t a man who hasn’t compared the size of his penis to other men in the locker room or at the urinal, a sizing-up that leads to either a prideful smile or a sense of inadequacy. And men will worry about how they will measure up with their partner’s former lovers. Will she be satisfied, happy, or disappointed by your appearance. It’s rather nerve wracking. 

Of course, if a guy deals with all these size issues and actually starts having sex without a panic attack, there’s always the matter of sexual performance nagging at him. Will he be able to sustain his erection? Let’s face it. There isn’t a man whose uncooperatively limp penis hasn’t embarrassed him at some time during sex. And if that isn’t the concern, then there’s the mortal fear of premature ejaculation or taking too long to come and boring your partner. Yep, this is all so much fun and anxiety provoking. 

For a man, their penis size gives a man their sense of virility. And beyond a man’s athleticism and job prestige/earning power, his penis size is a symbol of one’ masculinity. Of course this isn’t helped by TV shows like Hung and Sex in the City where attractive women speak of their preference for a large Johnson. I mean, I had such a thing for Charlotte back in the day!

The truth behind what women want is less clear. Indeed, many women will say that size doesn’t matter but it’s how you use it while others will clearly show a preference for it. I think that the “modern” girl though isn’t afraid to make it known that she wants someone who is as equally good looking as they are interesting and they days are gone when a nice guy can meet a good woman without putting any effort into his looks. I mean, let’s face it. We live in a superficial society and many men have gone completely superficial for years. So why not? Women can do the same. It’s just unfortunate for guys like me who are not good looking that we are no longer able to win a girl over with charm! I mean, I’m pretty screwed in that regard. 

Either way, men are becoming more and more anxious about the way they look and their pulling power. And while you can, with money, pretty much correct most things physically, the size of your penis cannot be changed easily, at least not without severe risk to fertility. 

But what are the facts?

Researchers at Kings College London analyzed data from more than 20 studies with more than 15,000 men, who underwent penis size measurements by health professionals using a standardized procedure. The average man’s lengths were 3.61 inches flaccid, 5.17 inches erect; the average circumferences were 3.67 inches flaccid and 4.59 inches erect. So, in truth, unless you have watched too much poor and think that every man is endowed like Dirk Diggler, you probably are in the norm anyway. 


Penis envy is another example of anxiety in an ever increasing superficial world. You are judged on whether you are fat, thin, old, young, endowed, or not endowed. People have unrealistic expectations of what they should be or should not. It’s a sad reality that girls and guys don’t want average people anymore. They only want guys and girls that fit the media darlings and anyone else is less than perfect. I know that it has made me question the likelihood of ever being in a meaningful relationship.  And if I never am, I won’t be surprised. 


2 thoughts on “Men and Penis Envy

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s